Rantings Of A Mad Rodent

You know, I'm always amused when I hear women say that they don't make men like their grandfathers and fathers anymore. They're quick to point out the decreased quality of today's men. So, you're telling me that over the last few decades, the overall quality of men have decreased, while the overall quality of women has increased? Riiiight. You can't possibly believe that. Do you know how your mothers and grandmothers got men like your fathers and grandfathers? Maybe your grandfather was a better breed of suitor, because he was courting a better breed of woman.

Think about it, women want a man to be the type of men that their grandfathers and fathers were, but they aren't willing to be the type of women that their grandmothers and mothers were. When my wife and I got together, we had nothing! All we had were our kids and each other. We built from the ground up. We had no car, dead end jobs, and my wife was working her way through college. I walked 2 1/2 miles to the nearest train station to catch the 5am train to get to work every morning. We used to have to take the bus to go grocery shopping, and we had to wear backpacks, so that we'd have somewhere to put the bags that we couldn't carry in our hands. We hung in there, and now our lives are significantly better. Again, she stayed while we built from the ground up! Find me atleast ONE woman that's willing to do that today? Don't worry, I'll wait. Most women today don't wanna build, they want what's been built! I told my 16 year old, that I felt sorry for him, and he asked why, and I said, "Because you'll NEVER find woman even half as good as your mother.".

When women learned the story of how President Obama courted Michelle, they started wondering if they were missing out on their Barack, and all I could do was laugh. I wanted to tell them that they weren't missing out on their Barack, because they weren't Michelles. Michelle stuck by a man with a law degree from Harvard, who chose to do community service. Today's women wouldn't have done that. They'd have gotten pissed that he wasn't pulling down figures at some law firm, nagged him endlessly, cheated on him, and ultimately left him. You know why? Because they don't make women like Michelle Obama or my wife anymore.

Now before you guys hit me with the "Not all women are like that!" emails, keep in mind that you women don't make those distinctions when talking about us men. I know all women aren't like that, I just wonder if you women know that all men aren't like that.

It doesn't matter what decade I write this in, it'll still be relevant. Now, more than ever, we've got white militia groups in the woods playing G.I. Joe with automatic weapons, and training. Training for what, you might ask. They're training to "take back their country", and in the process, kill blacks and Hispanics. What are the blacks and Hispanics doing? Why, they're killing each other! What the fuck sense does that make?! Then you have NorCal Hispanics killing SoCal Hispanics, black Bloods killing black Crips, northside blacks killing southside blacks, and so on. Talking about training for the bronze medal!

To be honest with with you, I don't even know why these ignorant baboons are even training. Hell, just sit back and let us finish killing each other, and when it's over, it'll just be black and Hispanic women and children left. The men will be dead, crippled, or in prison. It's amazing that we can stay so astoundingly stupid for so long! It seems like the only time we get impassioned about a cause, is what that cause calls for the destruction of each other. Blacks and Hispanics seem to be the only two groups of people willing to put themselves at a huge disadvantage in these critical times. We might as well put real bullets in the starter's pistol, and turn it on ourselves. Oh well, enjoy your bronze medals, you fucking losers!

My fellow Americans, I'm going to tell you something that you'll probably disagree with. We like to think that, since we put politicians in office, they work for us. THEY DON'T! Sorry, but they neither work for, nor represent us. I always hear people say, "They work for us! They should be doing our will.", wake up, Goldie Locks. Politicians work for big business and unions, plain and simple. Your vote is merely a ride to work for them. Basically, we're the bus drivers that take them to work. If you think I'm lying, think about this; if you email your congressman, you'll get a canned email response. If a lobbyist emailed your congressman, he'd get a return phone call....immediately! Is that anyway to treat your boss? Yes, your boss should get a phone call.

The last energy bill included input from the big oil and energy companies. How much of your input was included, boss? When we "employers" started losing our homes at record rates, who did they give the money to? When we "supervisors" objected to bailing out AIG, what happened? When we "bosses" found that we could go to Canada and get medicine for a whole lot cheaper than we could here, the big pharmaceutical companies didn't like that. What did our "employees", the lawmakers, do? They made it illegal. Now, they're trying to come to a consensus on this new health care bill, and who's pulling the strings? The insurance companies and the AMA. Where's your string to pull, Mr. Dithers? You can threaten to fire them, but in reality, your threats ring hollow. You know why? Because they know that they don't work for you!! Only we voters think that bullshit.

In theory, they're supposed to work for us. We send them to Washington to make things right for us, but somewhere along the line a coup was staged, and the unions and big corporations supplanted us as bosses. Yeah, they'll do the song and dance every election cycle, but instead of listening to the words of the song, pay attention to who the song is dedicated to. It ain't us! If you want to keep spouting that the politicians work for you, fine, have at it. Maybe it makes you feel good to say that, and that's fine too, but when you start to actually believe that, that's when the wheels start to come off. To be honest, the quicker you realize that politicians don't work for you, the better off you'll be come November 5th. That way, the vote you cast on the 4th won't hurt as bad. Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to turn to C-SPAN and check on my employees.

The people who "don't watch BET", can tell you the most about their shows.

The people who don't want their tax dollars to "pay for someone else's health care", had no problem with the corporate bailouts.

The people who criticized Al Sharpton and called him a "hater" for not being an early endorser of Obama, are now criticizing Obama.

There's been a shortage of funny white comedians lately. God, I miss Mitch Hedburg and Richard Jeni! Thank God, for Ron White!

The black people who "saw Bill Clinton's true colors" during the 2008 primary, quickly lost sight of them when he joined their fraternity.

The people who want to see a Jackson family tour and buy dvd's of Michael Jackson's rehearsal footage, are the same people that are saying, "Joe's trying to make money off of Michael!".

The women who said that Steve McNair deserved to be killed for cheating on his wife, are the same ones that said Rhianna should not have been harmed, regardless of what she did.

The people who said, "Obama is going to be the President of America, not Black America!", now want him to speak on reparations.

The businesses that are saying that their companies can't afford to pay its workers $7.25/hr, said that same thing about $6.55/hr.

If you talked about Farrah Fawcett's bad parenting, or Ronald Reagan's crooked deeds, it's disrespectful. Talk about Michael Jackson's legal troubles, it's "part of the story".

Well, it seems for most of us, the honeymoon's over. The post Obama election bliss is starting to wane. For the clear thinking, we knew it would end. For the emotionally involved, not so much. They're still holding out hope for the "change" we've heard so much about. Make no mistake, we were all sucked in, sadly, not all of us are able to become "unsucked", so to speak. Once we became "unsucked", we began to ask questions. We saw that Israel got their yearly $12 billion stocking stuffer, and the corporate pimps got their usual payments from their government bitches working the corners, and now we're (the American people AND the black community) are asking, "Where's ours?".

Well, where is it?! Once again, my fellow suckers, we'll be stuck in that pumpkin patch with Linus awaiting the Great Pumpkin, and he ain't coming! When Obama was campaigning, he looked right into our collective eyes, and promised a solid plan to save the homes of those that were on the verge of losing them, and what did we get? Let's see, the banks got billions upon billions of dollars to lend, the executives got 5 & 6 figure bonuses and 2 spa retreats, and those people on the verge of losing their homes got a 30 extension, which ended in February.

Basically, we went to the polls in November, scratched a lottery ticket, and saw "Not a winner this time. Please play again.". So, you're telling me that it never occurred to them to just pay off the homes? Doing that would have accomplished what they claimed they were setting out to do. Helping the banks to get rid of inventory and becoming more solvent to have more cash to lend, and saving the homes of the people. Assuming that is, those were really their intentions. I suspect that it wasn't. Hell, to sell their case, we were promised a website that we can log onto to monitor where our money was going. Hmm, it's www., uh, oh yeah, that's right! THERE IS NO WEBSITE FOR US TO LOG ONTO TO MONITOR WHERE OUR MONEY IS BEING SPENT!!!!

Then you have us in the black community that are asking, "Okay, what are gonna do for us?". "Surely, if you can give Israel their usual $12 billion payoff and billions for the corporations, for who knows what, there's gotta be something in that bag for us!". So far, nada. Of course we know that Obama's the President for all of America, and not just Black America, but somehow, when he's doling out loot to other people, noone seems to bring that up. Noone ever says, "He's the President of America, not corporate/Jewish America!". Funny that. I keep bringing up Israel, because after he was sworn in, there were alot of Jews asking, "What's he gonna for Israel?", not only were the Jews asking that, but so were alot of the talking heads on these so called news programs. "What's he gonna do for Israel?"?! Uh, he's not the President of Israel, why should he have to do anything, but I digress.

Anyway, people are thinking that, just because he appointed blacks to high profile positions (Atty. Gen., Surgeon Gen., Head of NASA), that that should somehow pacify us. It doesn't. Obama says that we blacks are going to have start doing for ourselves, and I agree. But if that's the case, why are we still sending $12 billion to Israel, and bailing out corporations? Are they not in a position to "do for themselves", like he thinks that we are? Shit, 134 billion of AIG's money went to Goldman Sachs, because they owed Goldman Sachs money! Why wasn't AIG told to "do for self"? Where's the consistency?

I'm not anti Obama. In fact, I'm far from it. But there comes a time when you have to stop being proud, and start being observant. Most of us refuse to do that. Sadly, to most of my people, looking at Obama with a critical eye, is akin to slapping white Jesus across the forehead with a 2x4. And to all of the people criticizing Obama and calling him a liar for not asking about reparations, get over yourselves! He never said that he would. In fact, he said that he was against it. It seem like some of you are trying to get him to deliver on promises he never made. It's cool to be critical, without being stupid about it.

Seeing my fellow black folks attacking us for asking questions about Obama, reminds me of those buffoons that follow that junkie Rush Limbaugh. The same people upset with me questioning Obama, are the same people that were criticizing Bush's followers for being blind loyalists. Here's my advice to y'all: Go to the window and take in the view of the beach one last time. Tomorrow, you'll be on a plane heading back home. The honeymoon's over!

Over the last 20 something years, I've heard many of my sisters claim, "Black men are intimidated by an independent black woman!". Wrong!!! And then there's the comical, "I don't need no man for nothing! I can do it all by myself!". Years later, that's exactly what you end up doing, "it" by yourselves! Somehow, you guys have confused "independent" with "bitter". My wife holds it down! She's got 2 degrees, a great job, and she's one helluva mother and wife. Could she get it done by herself if she had to? Of course. Does that "intimidate" me? Not at all. In fact, it doesn't intimidate any of us. Those are the types of women we look for. My wife, and women like her, don't feel the need to tell people how together they are every chance they get. You know, the real independent women. If you are truly "independent", you wouldn't have to shout it every time you go out in public. It sounds like you're trying to convince yourselves, not us.

To the sisters that love to proclaim that they are intimidating to us men, I'll let you in on a little secret, WE DON'T WANT YOU!!! You see, the majority of the women that yell that crap, are the ones with either baby daddy issues, can't compete with the real women, or just can't find a good man, due to them being bitter. Being bitter and having an airplane full of emotional baggage, does not make you "strong and independent", it makes you a bitter woman with emotional baggage. Instead of looking for a mate, maybe y'all should be trying to find a bellhop! It's not that we are intimidated by you, we just don't wanna hear that garbage. It's not that you can't find a "good man", you can't find a "good man" that can tolerate your bitterness. I also find it funny, that after 3 kids by 3 different men, all of a sudden "you don't need no man". Guess what, sweetie? Finding a man should be the least of your troubles.

Now, to all of you truly independent and strong women, I think some of you are reading us all wrong. Enough of this, "Today's men are weak, and put off by my success." garbage. Stop blowing smoke up your own asses. You don't scare anyone with your success. In fact, you become more appealing. You know that cute guy at Happy Hour that didn't talk to you? Here's probably why: When we're working our way through school, or trying to make our way in this world, we realistically know that types of women that we can get. Well, atleast some of us do. Anyway, when we see a beautiful sister who's a partner in a law firm, or any woman earning close to six figures and above, we know that we have nothing to offer her at that time. We know that we have to have our shit together before we even think about stepping to you, and as long as we realize that we're a work in progress, what's the point in wasting your time and ours? Besides, most of you don't want a work in progress, you want a man that has something to bring to the table now. Why do you think we've been seeing all of these "Women: Are We Sleeping on Our Own Obama?" blog posts lately? We nay not be in a position to bring anything to the table at that time. You guys are so caught in your self worship, that you don't see that. It's not "intimidation", it's being realistic on our part.

We applaud you women for being beautiful, strong, and successful. Trust me, I'm a guy and it's all we talk about when describing our dream wife. As long as you continue to perceive us as being intimidated by your success, you'll continue to have this same tired ass discussion with your girlfriends while snarfing down 10 cent buffalo wings and margarita specials at Happy Hour. Even that thought is more intimidating that you think you are.

One of my favorite funk bands of all time is Funk Puddin'. They came out around the same time as bands like Slave, Pleasure, The Ohio Players, Parliament/Funkadelic, Heatwave, and The Commodores, so they were easily overlooked. Some say that they were the major influence of all of the more famous funk bands, and others will tell you that the more famous funk bands ripped them off. I was fortunate enough to catch up with Funk Puddin's bassist, guitarist, and co founders, Leonard "Thump" Thompson and John "Butter Licks" Mayfield. We talked about funk, today's music, and of course, "The Puddin".

Q: Thump Thompson and Butter Licks Mayfield! Man, you guys were my favorite band! What've you been up to?

Thump: Man, you know, just trying to keep the legacy of The Puddin' alive to let these youngins know where it came from.

Butter Licks: Just funkin', pretty much.

Q: I see y'all still rocking the funk boots.

Butter Licks: Wouldn't be funkin without 'em!

Q: I hear that! Listen, let's get right to it. Did you guys ever think about the big hits other bands got by pretty much ripping y'all off?

Thump:Man, them cats. You know what? If they would've, uh,... shit......, admitted what they did, I would've been cool wit it, ya' know? Funk is a family thing, share and share alike, dig? But when you turn "What's the Answer" into "Fancy Dancer", or "Funk Hurricane" into "Mary Jane", and don't give propers, then....

Butter Licks (interupting):Look here man, it's like this; them cats knowed they stole them grooves! They knowed they stole 'em! Check this out here; I come up to you, right? And I say, "Say man, I heard yo' cut 'Flashlight', and you don't mention our song "Ass is Right', you must be feelin' guilty 'bout somethin'! Am I lyin'?! Am I lyin'?

Q:So not one band, to this day, has given you guys credit?

Thump: Nope!

Q:Wow! You guys were from Salt Lake City? That's an odd city for a funk band.

Butter Licks:Yeah, they said the same thing about Minneapolis too! We went through there around, shit, '74 was it?

Thump: I think it was '76.

Butter Licks: You sho'? Okay, yeah it was '76. Anyway, we get there, and we had a friend that lived there, helluva keyboard player! So, he shows up with his kid, a real fluffy looking kid, ya' know? Nothin' against the gays, they buy records too, but you know, it was...strange. Now I ain't one to tell a brother how to raise his son, but letting yo' son wear boots and lace and shit, was way out there for me, dig? I seen't some shit in my day, but nothin' like that! Plus he had this hair. Shit, he was prettier than the broads we had sangin' background. Called hisself Kang or somethin'

Thump: Prince

Butterlicks: Yeah, that's it, Prince! Anyway, we do the gig, and the peoples wanted an encore. Well, we just fied everybody the week before over some shit about cocaine, so everybody in the band was new. We had this new cut we was workin' on, "Little Red Chevette", and since the the guys knew it, shit, we did that. The people were groovin' to it too! I remember that little sugary nigga going crazy.

Q: Is that where Prince got "Little Red Corvette" from?

Butter Licks:Hell you tell me! Same car company, same color.

Thump:Hell man, all them cats stole from us! Rick James, Dazz Band, Michael Jackson, all of 'em! The kid is not your son? How 'bout that ain't yo' bassline either! Dazz Band talkin' 'bout "Let It Whip", how 'bout I whip y'all's ass?!

Q:Hey man, is that necessary?

Thump:What's the matter, Woody, too real for ya'?

Q:It's not that. I know these guys, and....

Thump:Oh, you scared you won't get no more interviews! Sucker ass sucker!

Q:Was that called for?

Thump:Was what called for, you bein a bitch?

Q;(sigh) Moving right along. So, what do you think of today's funk?

Thump:Them bitches ain't funkin', they fakin!

Q:So what's next for Funk Puddin'?

Butter Licks:I hear funk's making a comeback, and the new album is ready to go.

Q:New album?!

Thump:It's called "Sit in my Lap". It's gonna let people know about the real Puddin'.

Butter Licks:Prepare to be funked! We got most of the original guys back too.

Thump: 'Cept Gary.

Butter Licks: Yeah, 'cept Gary. He dead. We also doing the Twitter!

Q:That's great to hear! So where can we get the new album?

Butter Licks:Man shit, it's on the innerwebs. My granddaughter know how to do it. Gimme yo number. I'll call you wit it.

Q:Okay. Thank you for taking time out for me today. I look forward to see y'all play again. anything you wanna say before we sign off?

Thump:Yeah, we know and y'all know y'all stole them grooves. Next time I see, I'ma have my pistol. I'm putting hot lead in y'all's asses! Get that new album. Go to, shit, what's that web thang again?

I love how my brothers and sisters are quick to yell, "We created that!", whenever someone plays a modern rock song. True, we created rock n roll, but not everything that rock n roll encompasses. Let's break it down, shall we? There are 3 main people that get credited with rock n roll's creation, depending on who you ask. They are saxophonist Louis Jordan, Chuck Berry, and Little Richard. Elvis Presley, "The King of Rock n Roll", always gave Fats Domino the credit. For the record, Elvis hated being called "The King of Rock n Roll". He always felt that that title belonged to Fats Domino, but I digress. To me, that's where our "creating rock n roll" stops. Alot of hard rock bands, like AC/DC, Led Zepplin, and the Rolling Stones, based alot of their early tunes around the blues, another one of "our creations". However; again, that too, is where it ends for "us", their earlier tunes.

Take Led Zepplin for instance, their songs "Rock N Roll" and "Dazed and Confused" were based on the old timey rock n roll and blues that blacks are credited with creating, but "Ocean" and "Kashmir" were not. Hell, "Kashmir" was built on a Middle Eastern groove. We can't take credit for that, but many of us still try. Some will listen to a fuzzed out heavy metal or hard rock tune and say, "We created all of that!". No, "we" didn't. Dave Davies of the Kinks busted the cone on his amp's speaker and turned up the volume to get that deep distortion and fuzz effect. That had absolutely nothing to do with Chuck Berry's creation. Tommi Iommi of Black Sabbath was among the first to detune his guitar to C# to get that "heavy metal" sound, and along with Led Zep's Jimmy Page, introduced the modern heavy guitar riff. Again, that had absolutely nothing to do with what Little Richard, Fats Domino, or Louis Jordan were doing or did.

For those that argue that all rock is based around the blues, try this on for size: Judas Priest is widely recognized as one of the first heavy metal bands. True, most rock is based on blues, but not heavy metal. In order to achieve their much heavier sound, which led to most modern day rock and metal, Judas Priest shed their blues influence altogether. We can't take credit for that. Sorry. Tommi Iommi and Dave Davies deserve more credit for Metallica's "Enter Sandman" than Fats Domino does. Kansas, Yes, Rush, and most of the other bands in the Prog Rock movement, built their main riffs around classical music. Chuck Berry wasn't doing that. We can take credit for the genre, but not the genres within the genre. Sure, we created "Rock Around the Clock", but not "Smells Like Teen Spirit". "Rollover Beethoven"?, yes, "Purple Haze"?, no.

True, the Wright Brothers taking that leap off of that hill in 1903, eventually led up to the development of the Stealth Bomber, but to say that the Wright Brothers invented the Stealth Bomber is laughable. That's like giving Henry Ford, who's introduction of the Model T was a major mark in automotive history, credit for the Porsche 911 Turbo. I know my brothers and sisters love to trumpet our creation of rock music, but those claims have limits, and I think it's time that we recognized those limits. Feel free to argue amongst yourselves.

Well folks, it's that time of year again. You know, the time of year where Hall of Famer and arguably one of the greatest football players of all time, Jim Brown comes out to criticize popular black athletes for "not doing enough". Everyone's quick to repeat the phrase, "To whom much is given, much is required.", but as time goes by, I'm beginning to see that this only applies to the black celebrities and athletes. Black and white people are quick to ask a black athlete or actor, "What are you doing to give back?", but it's mostly his black fans. I've always wondered, do they wanna know what he's doing for the community or them personally? The white people that ask black celebrities that question, would never ask the same of Lance Armstrong. "But Lance has a foundation.", you say. Well, so does Tiger Woods! What, his doesn't count?

Jim Brown is a guy that walked the walk, as well as talked the talk, so I totally understand and appreciate his position, but at the same time, Mr. Brown needs to respect the generation gap. Things are different now, and sometimes, an athlete can't do it the same way you did. Mr. Brown's outspokenness in the 60' and 70's were very important in the movement, but that doesn't diminish Mr. Woods giving free college educations to underprivileged kids, if the aim truly is to uplift the community. I think it's somewhat of a disservice to call people out if they don't live up to your idea of giving back. As for criticizing them for not being outspoken on social issues, not everyone can do that. Everyone does things in their own way. Some guys can walk away from a woman that's agitating them, and some men can't. Jim Brown should know this more than anyone else. It's not just Jim Brown that bothers me, but it's the subsequent fallout.

Being that Jim Brown has stated these critiques for the past 4 or 5 years, the E Militant types have joined the chorus. Alot of the people that echo Brown's sentiments, usually have no freaking clue as to what the hell they're talking about, they just want to secure a seat in the "Amen corner". I recall seeing a post from an E Militant type that wondered by black celebrities were on MTV's Cribs, when there were children in Africa starving. Really?! It seems that we're the only race that doesn't ask our famous people to do things, but demand it. Who the hell are we to demand anything?! Seriously, what makes us so damn special that we can demand stuff?! When someone outside of your circle demands that you do something, how do you respond? Well then, why should they react any differently? It's like we're trying to make our black athletes and celebrities feel guilty for all of their hard work.

What's wrong with Tiger, Jordan, and others having a foundation? Seriously, what's the freaking problem with it? When they make a personal appearance, you say, "They should've cut a check.". They cut a check, you say, "They could've taken time out to show up.", and when they do both, it's still not enough! Hell, what have you E Militants done for the community?! While you're bitching and moaning about what they don't do, y'all don't even take advantage of what they do offer! Let me ask you this: There are more than 100 famous black people with foundations and scholarship funds, how many of you have reached out to them for help or applied for the scholarships for yourself or your kids? Thought so, but yet he's not doing enough.

Hello ladies, you may not know me, but I know you. I know more about you than you know about yourselves. I've seen many of you throw away the one thing you can't replace or get back: time. You don't seem to value it that much, according to what I've seen. I've met many a woman that has gotten involved with married men, in hopes him leaving his wife. Some even going to the extent of bearing his child. By the time she realizes that she's been played, she's got 2 of his kids, no husband, an extra 30 pounds, and no good prospects of finding a man of her own. Why? Because she's spent ALL of her good years chasing and waiting for what wasn't hers. All of the time she pissed away waiting on theirs, she could've used finding hers. Does that sound productive to you?

It actually breaks my heart to see that, so I'm going to try to save you some time, and along with it, heartache, frustration, and your youth. You see, when your married boyfriend tells you that he'll leave his wife for you, you guys ALWAYS fall for it, even when you know he's lying! You're like Charlie Brown running to kick the football. You know that he's going to pull the ball away, but you run towards it anyway, hoping that maybe, just maybe, this time he'll do it. Stop it!!!

Let me let you in on something, it ain't happening! You know it ain't happening, but you really don't understand why it ain't happening. If you had an inkling of why, maybe you'll be more resistant to falling for it. I'm going to tell you why. Here goes: Do you women know how hard it is for a man to decide to make a woman "The One"? Do you know the amount of BS and "tests" a woman has to put up with and pass, before she is deemed worthy of marriage material? I'm sure some of you do. Especially if a guy has a great single life, he's going to make damn sure that that woman is worth giving that all up for. By the time he decides that she is "The One", he has put her through all kinds of stuff, because we need to know that she has our back when times get hard.

Which leads us to why a married man isn't leaving his wife for you. After we've found what we think is the perfect woman for us, do you honestly think that we'd leave her for a side piece? Do you really believe that we would leave our proven life partner for an unproven commodity? You, Ms. Other Woman, have not been put through any of the proving stages. Yeah, you may be good in bed. So good in fact, that you were worth lying to to keep it going. So good, it was worth telling you that he loves you, you're better than his wife (you actually may be), and that he might leave her for you. In reality, the sex is good, but it ain't "leave my wife" good. Sure, we'll tell you that it is, but it ain't. Sorry to sound so blunt, but it is what it is. I've been happily married for 18 years, and I have yet to meet a woman that I would even think about leaving my wife for, let alone doing it! And for the record, no, I don't cheat on her. Women are a pain to be with sometimes, why would I get 2 of them?! I'm more than happy with my one. The One.

Ladies, think of it this way: Let's say that you have an authentic $800 Chloe' handbag. It may be old, but it's authentic, reliable, and yours. You've had that Chloe' handbag for years, and it still looks good. No way will you let it go. One day you happen to come across a beautiful $30 Marc Jacobs knockoff. It's flashy, looks good on your arm, and it's a crowd pleaser. It's worth taking to the club, or even buying a whole new outfit just to match it, but it's a short term thing. It is a $30 knockoff, afterall. You know that when it's time to represent, you're grabbing your go to bag, the $800 Chloe'. The Chloe' has never let you down. The $30 Marc Jacobs knockoff was cute to wear around for a minute, but it ain't got nothing on your authentic Chloe' that you paid $800 for, and it's going to win out everytime if you have to choose between the 2. It was, for lack of a better term, your "side piece".

Do you still think he's gonna leave his wife for you now?

Who knows who the Washington Generals are? That's the team that the Harlem Globetrotters take out on the road to ridicule and mercilessly trounce. They've see all of the Globetrotters' pranks and gags, but they still fall for them. Of course, it's all part of the act, but my question is: What's our excuse? WHY do we keep falling for the government's and the corporations' gags and tricks, even though we've seen them all before? When did we willingly become the Washington Generals to their Harlem Globetrotters?

We've seen all of the gags, heard all of the promises, and hell, they even let us look behind the curtain once! And we still we still fall for the same ol' tricks without hesitation! They have alot of gags in their playbook, but one of my faves would have to be the ol' "Patriotism Ploy". This one's a can't miss in its reliability. It's also very versatile, and be sprung in many different ways. You remember in Michael Moore's movie "Sicko", where he had to take a boatload of first responders from the 9/11 tragedy to Cuba for health care? Even though those in the government should have been embarrassed and ashamed, how did they respond? They said what Moore did was "treasonous" and called him a "traitor". How did the American public respond? By agreeing with those statements. Instead of us holding the government's feet to the fire, we fell for the gag. Those who said that Iraq had nothing to do with 9/11, were called "anti - American", because those in charge said they were. It also didn't hurt that Fox News was helping to spoon feed the sheep. The sad thing is, they didn't have to work that hard, we are, afterall, the Washington Generals. We WILL fall for the gag, just tell us what to do, and when to fall.

Then there's a Patriot Act. We allowed them to take away most of our civil rights and liberties, because we were scared, and they told us that this would protect us. We were given facts to show us that it would do the opposite, but he fell for it anyway. The Patriot Act has victimized more of the people it was supposed to protect than it has people it was supposed to protect us from! You hear horror story after horror story about innocent people getting put on "No fly" lists, detained at airports, and the like, but there are some people that still think that it's a good thing. They'll even state facts that can't be proven, but that's what we're supposed to do. In fact, so far, the RIAA seems to be one of the few people benefiting for it. Because of the Patriot Act, they're able to look for "illegal downloads" on your computer. Speaking of trickery, how many of you think that the artists actually get money from those RIAA lawsuits? Everytime they unveil the next thing that's supposed to help us, I can't help but hear "Sweet Georgia Brown".

Take the bailout, who here honestly believed that it was going to benefit the people? Don't be ashamed to admit it, they fooled alot of us. What did they tell us? "We'll give the banks and corporations billions of dollars, and they'll in turn, pass it on to the people.", and what happen? They gave the ball to Meadowlark Lemon, and we never saw it again. They told us that those mega bonuses would stop, they didn't. They told us that corporations would act more responsibly. They don't. They told us that these corporations would no longer splurge on extravagant crap. They did. They told us that people would now be able to get loans. They weren't. They said that people would be able to keep their homes. They weren't. And when the government asked for an accurate accounting of funds, they were basically told to go kick rocks. Meanwhile; we did nothing. Do you know why we did nothing? We weren't supposed to, were are afterall, the Washington Generals! We knew this would happen, and no only did we fall for it, we fucking paid for it! We're still paying for it!

Look at all of these political sex scandals. They've somehow managed to trick you into believing that it's a "private matter", and you're gonna fall for it! Why? Because you always do! At what point do we realize that there's confetti in the bucket for the fans, and water for us? What has to happen before we not only say, "Enough!", but actually do something about it? Shit, atleast the Washington Generals get paid for it! What's our excuse?

Lately black radio has been on a jihad, so to speak against bill HR 848. They're distorting it as a bill to "get rid of black radio", and sadly, most of their audience will not take the time to research it and find out what it actually is. Black radio, knowing that they have done the black community a disservice for the most part, has decided to fall back on the "brotherhood" crutch. Unfortunately, and predictably, black radio has made HR 848 an "us (black) vs. them (white)" issue, even going as far as to tell their listeners to call Senators and Congressmen and threaten their seats. I promise you, those that make that calls, will make damned fools out of themselves, but I digress. In a nutshell, HR 848 is simply a bill that will allow artists that perform on the records that are being played, to receive a royalty payment. They also told you that Gospel stations would be shut down as well, didn't they? Well, that too, was a lie. Stations that broadcast religious content would be exempt.

So, since people like Warren Ballentine, Michael Baisden, and others in black radio have decided to go with this "bill to get rid of black radio" nonsense, let's play along, shall we? Black radio is "reaching out" to the same community that they have done a disservice to over the past 2 decades for help. They want us to save them. Why should we? Black radio, in its essence, was a medium to truly serve the community. Nowadays, not so much. You want us to save something that constantly bombards our children with music that denigrates women and living lawfully? Black radio was a place where talented local artists could be heard. The only local artists that get played in Atlanta are the ones who are making crap. It's like the artists are trying to outdumb each other. Atlanta was the VERY last market to play India.Arie, and she's from here, but unfortunately for her, her music was positive. There's no room for that on black radio here in Atlanta!! Black radio in Atlanta doesn't support local artists, unless they're making music that makes the community look bad, or if they've gone elsewhere to achieve notoriety first.

Black radio used to be a place where you can learn something about your culture. Black people complain that they gave us the shortest month to celebrate Black History Month, and sadly, that's a whole lot more than we get from black radio! Black radio will make you jump through hoops if you wanted to promote an event that helps the community, but they'll gladly run promos 6 times a day for the "Miss Biggest Booty" contest at the local club next weekend. A few years ago, Hot 107.9 (WHTA) in Atlanta was doing a call in show teaching teens the correct way to have anal sex. Is that what you call "giving back to the community"? Really?! That's what you want us to save?! You want us to save something that constantly markets malt liquor, predatory payday loans, unhealthy food, rent to own scams, and Pars Cars to us? You really think that crap is worth saving? When I was an artist back in the 80's, my label turned to black radio for airplay, and they gave us alot of support............$2500.00, a hooker, and 2 bags of cocaine later, and this happened on more than one occasion! Black radio also wants black artists to speak on their behalf. The same black artists that they were shaking down for payola, which still goes on today, but only now they force them to perform for free at the stations' "Birthday Bash" concerts.

Do you honestly think, deep down inside that you deserve saving? There are some people willing to help you, and there are others that are willing to just let you wither away. To the ones that want to help, you need to ask black radio: What are you willing to do for the community, instead of to the community?

For once I can say that the government got it right. By increasing the taxes on cigarettes, they're basically saying, "If you're going to be stupid and smoke, and become a drain on our health care system, it's gonna cost ya.", and quite frankly, I'm good with that. It makes sense, and it has even caused some to quit smoking altogether. Then I had this thought: why can't they do that for the other shit that's not good for us? America is one of the unhealthiest countries in the world, so wouldn't it make sense to raise the taxes on the crap that's killing us? They did it for alcohol and cigarettes.

Think about it, all of the organic and healthier foods cost almost double of what the crap that's killing us does. If they really gave a shit about our health, wouldn't they make it more affordable? Why not treat the processed inferior foods like cigarettes? With all of the doctors' warnings and news reports about our failing health, you'd think they'd try that. It seems to me that the game plan is scare the shit out of us, then put the charge on us. Why else would they make the more harmful foods the more affordable foods? Maybe it's more of a cash grab than a health concern.

Last night, we lost our beloved Lab/Chow mixed pooch of 15 years. I was told that she lived a year and a half past her life's expectancy, but that doesn't make it any better. She was an erratic acting dog at times, and she always seemed to be on the hunt for food, but she was still a great dog. She basically house trained herself, and she also seemed to understand what we were saying after about 2 years. She was a VERY smart dog. She will be sorely missed, as evidenced by my wife's constant tearing up. My son basically grew up with Storm, so they were very close.

As I contemplated where to bury her in the backyard, something weird happened. Suddenly, everything that Michael Vick was charged with, seemed a WHOLE lot worse to me. Keep in mind, I'm one of those that feels that Vick has paid his debt to society, and that he deserves a 2nd chance in the NFL, so this isn't an anti Vick post. It's just a musing, so to speak, of how my dog's death put Vick's actions into perspective for me. I was one of those guys that felt that Vick's punishment didn't fit the crime, and I still do. However; after watching my beloved pooch laying there peacefully, and feeling the hurt that I felt, I wondered to myself, "How in the fuck could someone do this on purpose?!". After thinking about the ways he killed and tortured his dogs, and looking back at my Storm of 15 laying there, suddenly I thought, maybe the punishment did fit the crime, but then again, that's just emotion talking. Peaceful journey, old girl.

Stop with this so called freestyle crap! Seriously, who gives a shit if you can go off the top of the dome? You sound like ass! How many of us have tuned in to a radio show, or clicked on an internet link to hear or see our favorite rapper, only to be let down? You know the scenario. First the beat kicks in and they start going, "Unh, yeah. Where (insert town here) at? Check it out.", and then proceed to sound like drunken babbling baboons. Afterwards, they'll go, "That was off the top!". No! Really?! And here I was thinking you was trying to sound like hot garbage on purpose, but as it turns out, you was just freestyling.

Charles Hamilton is the latest in a long line of delusional rappers. Dude fancies himself as a freestyle god. Everytime you see him, he's freestyling, and everytime you see him, he sounds like shit. He's not the only one. I heard Method Man, one of my favorite rappers ever, try to freestyle the other day. EPIC FAIL! How many times have you heard a rapper really feeling it, and then do something stupid like say the word "encyclopedia", and when he realizes that he has nothing that rhymes with it, he reverts back to, "Unh, yeah. Mic check.". "Mic check"?!! That's the same damn mic you've been using for the last 3 minutes, now quit stalling, and come up with something that rhymes with "encyclopedia"! Here's what I suggest; get a notebook and label it "Interveiw & Radio Show Raps", write some very clever and witty verses in it, and before every radio appearance, pick out which rap you're going to use, and use it! And don't you dare go on a promotional tour without that notebook! Please don't get salty with me, I'm just the messenger, but unless your name is Supernatural, you have no fucking business trying to freestyle! Better you hear it from me, than from Joe Buddens.

Here are a few letters from Litton Finance's satisfied customers. Believe me folks, they're not the only ones. Nothing has changed for the little guy, and it probably never will, regardless of who's in office. Wanna know why? Because noone gives a shit!

Christopher of Livonia, MI March 31, 2009

February 2009 I called Litton loan to make an arrangement to pay my mortgage payment. Agreed to pat payment plus late fee and the fee for payment by phone. Went on line to pay my bills days after. Litton had taken 550.00 more then agreed. This caused a series of bounced checks. When I called to complain I was switched from person to person and then hung up on. After many phone calls I thought the problem was resolved. They promised to give me back the 550.00 plus any bounced check fees that occurred. I was satisfied and thought everything was fine.

Then in the March I get a Letter in the mail that Litton is going to accelerate a foreclosure on my house for an unpaid balance in February. They sent letters regular mail and registered mail. Phone calls everyday. They even sent someone to come out and take pictures of my home. This all got started by Litton's screw up now they want to take my home.I have lived here for fourteen years. Litton took over my mortgage in November of 2008. They have been nothing but trouble from day one. Looking at my account on line I have found all kinds of fees they hide and charge. The principal will never go down with this loan.

John of Dingmans Ferry, PA March 23, 2009

I am a disabled Vietnam Veteran and living in PA, I have received a Property and School Tax Exemption. Litton has placed my monthly payments of principle and interest into the tax escrow account and are now threatening foreclosure. I have paid exactly what I owe every month and they refuse to correct their error. I would welcome any legal help available! I DO want an Attorney to contact me!

I have been harassed for five months and have been hung up on, transferred to every department with no result, and now get 6-8 recorded phone collection calls daily. When I speak to a human, they either transfer me or hang up when I ask to speak to a supervisor. I have written and supplied all of the documentation to no avail!

Jason of Housatonic, MA March 16, 2009

We had been dealing with Litton Loan for almost three years now; during this time we had nothing but problems. The last major problem was that I received a billing statement saying we owed 2,556.00 and we went to send them the money and then they stated that we owed 5,000 and something. I had stated that we received a bill stating this is how much we owed and they said it was not a bill it was a statement.

The had done a loan modification and raised our payments to over 1,000 dollars a month. I can not afford that and told them that. We had eventually moved out and in the process of selling our house because of Litton Loan are dreams of owning our own home went out the window.

Jacqueline of Detroit, MI March 10, 2009

Litton Loan Service is trying to screw my family as well. Litton paid my property taxes and hiked up my mortgage which should be 751.22 and my property taxes are 709.20 a month which brings my mortgage to 1462.42. So I supposedly owe back taxes of 8000.00 dollars. When I asked if I could pay my own property taxes the answer was no. When I asked how much are my property taxes monthly and why was the payment so high!!! They could only tell me they were back taxes and they could not give me a monthly amount. I was furious.

I am laid off and cannot afford this amount even though this is suppose to be a loan modification. I am 3 months behind, currently awaiting the Stimulus results and finding out about my taxes. I told Litton since I live in the home I am suppose to get a personal exemption on my taxes and that should be taken into consideration which should automatically knock money off my taxes. No adjustment has been made. They are the worst mortgage company in the world they do not try to work with you to save your home. We should all file a class action law suit against Litton Loan Service.

The physical damage that has resulted from Litton paying my property taxes my mortgage payment being too high, and I am laid off, and they are threatening to foreclose on my home.

Ray of Mesa, AZ August 30, 2008

Sold my home @auction after seating up repay plan had been signed by my self. The proper funds where in Litton Loans account before sell date. They out and out lied to me and the are trying to keep the moneys sent.

Sold home out from under me. I have lost 80,000 in equity

Before we start, let me assure you, this isn't a request for handouts or bailouts, just an observation. Someone who works for county government told me that alot of the IT work they have done, is outsourced to people in Canada. Really?! They can't find any good IT people here in America? Let me get this straight, the same government that promised to save America's jobs, is also outsourcing tasks to people in foreign countries?! I don't know about you, but I find that to be kinda fucked up. If local governments are outsourcing jobs, why should corporations give damn? How can this government punish and criticize corporations for outsourcing jobs, when they're doing it themselves? Furthermore, why aren't they talking about this in the news? If it was Apple, Nabisco, or GM, it would be the lead story, and these dipshits in their red, white, and blue t shirts would be picketing. In fact, it has been the lead story. Where the hell are all of these news investigators and their expose's now? Probably too busy spying on county road crews trying to catch one of them sleeping on the job.

To the guy that had the huge rebel flag waving from the back of his pickup truck: When that truck's a Toyota, it kinda loses its oomph.

To the lady in the green Volvo sipping a Bud Lite with the MADD sticker on her bumper: I think the A in MADD stands for "against" not "allowing".

To the teen overheard saying, "I wear Abercrombie & Fitch, so bitches know I dominate.": Um, okay.

To the pregnant woman in Big Lots with the 3 unruly children: Seriously?!

To the 20 something year old guy posted up against his black Dodge Charger with the black custom rims outside of a high school during let out: C'mon, dawg.

To the guy in the fur jacket, sagging jeans, and mismatched Air Jordans: No!

To the prison work crew working on Ronald Reagan Pkwy. trying to holla at passing female motorists: Stop playin'!

To the old man in the mall wearing hip hop gear, bling, and trying to holla at young girls: Let it go, dawg. Let it go.

To my married friend who's pissed off that his "girlfriend" is seeing someone else: For real, bruh?

To the undecided woman in line at McDonald's: The menu hasn't changed in over 30 years. Order something already!

To the would be bank robber who requested to be buzzed into the bank's lobby while holding a rifle: Really?!

To the guy that bragged to me last week that he's about to start flipping houses for profit: Way to get in on the ground floor.

Man, I don't know about you, but listening to classic rock, funk, soul, rap, and r&b really lifts the spirits. It's also kind of sad, because you know that that era is long gone. I was listening to a Cd of classic r&b love songs, when something occurred to me: some of these lyrics sound like the verbal meanderings of a stalker! Seriously, if I was to put some of the lyrics in a letter, and send it to a lady, she'd probably turn it over to the cops!

One of my favorite songs, is Stevie Wonders' "All I Do", but when you listen to the lyrics, you get an image of a guy with one of those homemade shrines. You know the ones with the woman's picture surrounded by a gaggle of candles? Example:

"Gonna tell you girl
I'd light a candle every day
And pray that you'll always feel this way
And pray that our love will forever be new
I'm gonna tell you girl
If I cannot have you for my own
I'd rather be lonely and all alone"

It all seems innocent enough, until the letters and late night phone call start up! Still, it's one of my faves.

Let's take "Lady" by The Whispers, another classic, and great song as well. Towards the end when he does the ad libs? I start to become somewhat concerned for the object of his desire's safety, especially when Scottie does the skat part.

"I want you to hear every word I say yeah girl (Lady)
(Bweeble bwee bweeble bwee bwee)
That means I love you baby
(Bweeble bwee bweeble bwee bwee)
And that means that I want you baby
(Bweeble bwee bweeble bwee bwee)
And that means that I'm gon' get you baby
Well, well, well, well, don't you know that I love you girl
You kiss me and drive me crazy, yes you do girl
Kiss me, love me, squeeze me, love me
Do anything that you wanna do (Lady)
But don't you ever, ever, ever, ever go nowhere
Please I don't want you to go nowhere baby
Ya see I love you girl, can't you see that I'm saying that I need you, gotta have you..."

Be honest, if a person came up to you, and said that, you'd reach for the pepper spray, wouldn't you?

Don't get me wrong, I love these songs, but hey, sometimes you can't help but notice. Patti LaBelle's "Love and Need and Want You", has "300 yards at all times" written all over it. Then there's "It's All Over" by the Ohio Players. It's about a woman leaving a man, and he ain't having none of it!

"Put that suitcase down! You ain't leaving town!"
&
"Aw girl, put that suitcase down, you ain't kiddin' nobody. You can't leave me! You love me!".

Um sweetheart, I think you'd better drop them damn bags, and just try to get the hell out of the house alive! Sugarfoot is about to snap! Maybe you and the cops can go back for your stuff later. Who remembers the breakdown from "End Of The Road" by Boyz II Men? In it, dude says something like, "Baby when you was with that other man, I knew about it, but I didn't care. That's just how much I love you. Please, just come back.". Whenever I hear that, I can't help but think of the phrase, "And then he turned the gun on himself."

Even though I make fun of some of these songs, they're still among the best ever recorded and I'll put our generation's music up against anyone's, but sometimes thay make you wonder.

This will come as a shock to my family and friends, but I'm actually starting to dig Fords now. I'm a Japanese car fanatic, mainly Nissans, but Ford is beginning to impress me. So much so, that I'd actually buy one! To me, Ford has always stood for "Found On Road Dead", or backwards, "Driver Returns On Foot", but I think those days are gone. Believe you me, I'm just as shocked as you. Their cars' quality have steadily improved, and they told the government where to stick their loan. You gotta like that.

The new Ford lineup is impressive as well. Take the Flex for instance, an SUV that seats 7 comfortably, and gets decent gas mileage. It has retro styling without looking contrived, and the Vista Roof option is aces as well. It also offers as an option, a cooler inside. This is the perfect family/road trip vehicle. Then there's the Lincoln MKS, and very good looking luxury sedan, that could easily compete with it's rivals, but I'll admit that Ford needs to tweak the performance ability of this car to get it to match it's sticker, but they're on the right track and I feel that they will sort it out. The Mustang needs no explaining, it is what it is.

Then you have their lineup of crossovers, the Lincoln MKX and the Ford Edge, 2 impressive looking vehicles that have the roominess of SUV's and the handling of a sedan. Most shockily to me, is the soon be released Taurus! Good God, what took them so long?! For decades, Ford sent their best offerings to Europe, and now, they've decided to bless to home crowd. If you haven't seen pictures of the 2010 Ford Taurus, do so. I've always felt that they should've put the damn thing out to pasture, but with it's new design, it's actually on my shortlist.

Everyone always scream, "Buy American!", but America's big 3 didn't give many of us a good enough reason to "Buy American!". Ford seems to be changing that, in fact, they have! I singled Ford out because I've always liked some GM and Chrysler models, but I wouldn't be caught dead in a Ford. All of that has changed now. Ford's really stepping up. As their old tag line used to ask, "Have you driven a Ford lately?". Well, have you? I think you'd be impressed.

With all of the bullshit that's going on today with these corporations, I find myself thinking about the French Revolution. Whatever you may feel about the French, you have to admit one thing, they had the right idea in 1789. When the rich got richer off the blood, sweat, and tears of the poor, and the poor got the door, they did something about it! They were not content to let the problem "correct itself". They cut people's heads off! Some of you may think that's extreme, but I don't think it is. What's being done today, is no different than what the aristocracy was doing to the French people back then.

Corporate greed has gotten out of control, because the CEO's have no fear of reprisals. "What are they going to do about it?", they asked themselves, and of course the answer was always the same: nothing. Them giving out bonuses, buying 45 million dollar jets, and spending a half million dollars on spa weekends with our money, is the new way of saying, "Let them eat cake!". Can you imagine how they would conduct themselves if they knew that the people watching had a guillotine at the ready? Of course, the French citizens had been pushed to the brink. I guess people living in tents in 2009, losing their homes and retirement funds, and having their jobs shipped overseas is not enough anguish for us Americans. Back in the 1700's, Americans were so pissed about being unfairly taxed by King George, that they actually DID something about it, which of course, led up to the Revolutionary War. Somehow, over time, we Americans have become a bunch of unfocused punk bitches.

It's one of three things to me: either we don't have the guts to react like the French in 1789, we're too stupid to know that we're living in the same condition they were in, or we Americans just like to take it so that we can have something to bitch about. After the war with Iraq started, we Americans hated the French for not going along with it. It got so stupid, that idiots were referring to French fries as "Freedom fries". As least I can say this about the French: there was a time when they had the balls do what should be done now. I want you "freedom fry" eaters to go read up on the French Revolution and then asked yourselves: What are we willing to do?

While you're at it, pass me a freedom fry.

These days, I'm hearing more and more people wishing that the President will fail, and politicians voting against what's best for their country just to remain loyal to their party, country be damned. Yet, they all claim to be "patriots". Is this the new "patriotism"? Can you still claim to be a patriot if you vote to enact policies that aren't good for the country just for the sake of remaining loyal to your party? Also, if you're too cowardly to fight for your country, can you still claim to be a patriot?

Gone are the Minutemen of the 1700's, now it's just of bunch of cowardly right wing nut jobs and an ex Vice President who ducked out of Vietnam because he had "better things to do", but he wasted no time sending others to war. Yankee Doodle fucking Dandy indeed! Hell, forget war, most of these "patriots" never even served in the military to help protect "their country". Right wing talking head Neal Boortz claimed that he had flat feet when he went for his physical, and therefore; wasn't allowed in. That turned out to be a lie. Republican pimp/god Rush Limbaugh dodged service, and Sean Hannity, well let's face it, Sean's not the most masculine guy in the world.

The other thing that I find interesting is: there are more people on the "traitorous" left that have served in the military than there are on the "patriotic" right. It begs the question: Is cowardice and wishing doom on your President the new face of patriotism?

Okay, I haven't posted in about a week, but there's a painful reason why. Ladies and gentlemen, please give a warm round of applause to the stomach virus! My God, talk about a beast! It had me writhing around and doubled over in pain, and quite frankly, it made me its bitch. It made me question my God, as in, "Look! There's nothing left in there! What the hell are hoping to find?! Just tell me what you're looking for , and I'll go find one, because it sure as hell ain't in my stomach!". Hey, the dry heaves will make you do that! And then there was my wife, "You don't look so good.". She's always been perceptive. Even as I'm moaning and rolling around on the bed, she was able to spot that something was amiss. She missed her calling as a detective. Sorry, hon! Anyway, all is well now, but there's gotta be an easier way to lose 12 pounds!

I just want to thank WAMJ 107.5 Atlanta. They changed their format into another r&b oldies station, as if we needed another one. They got rid of the Warren Ballentine and Al Sharpton shows, but kept Steve Harvey and Michael Baisden, because black folk don't like to be informed, just entertained. They got rid of the 2 shows that kept us up on politics, the country, and things that affect our community, and kept the comedy show and the show where sex is always the topic in one form or another. Fucking sad, actually. Oh well, we'll be in the dark, but atleast we'll be entertained. Thank you, WAMJ!!

This may not be popular with some, but here goes. Ever since Chris Brown went Ike Turner on Rhianna, domestic violence is all people seem to be talking about on the radio morning shows. From Steve Harvey and Tom Joyner to Rickey Smiley and Frankski, and quite frankly, more than a few are taking this opportunity to dawn their capes. Tom Joyner even said that he hopes this ends Chris Brown's career, then he played an R. Kelly song. They're all having these brown nosing dudes and women's rights advocates on their shows, and they're giving out bad advice. Sad, but true. My personal opinion? No man should never have to hit a woman, and women need to learn that there are such things as boundaries. If you see that line in your rearveiw mirror, step back!

These morning show guests and hosts are taking all of the responsibility out of the woman's hands, and that's dangerous. They're telling women that no matter what they do, they can't be hit. Y'all need to cut that shit out right now, or alot more women are going to be getting their asses kicked. My brothers and I were taught not to hit women, but everybody didn't have the same upbringing. Rhianna has always taken pride in the fact that she likes to fight guys straight up, she even bragged about the fact that she once broke a glass over her brother's face, and women everywhere thought it was cool, and now when a guy really fights her back, they all wanna play the victim. Can't have it both ways.

Instead of telling women that they should bare no responsibility, how about teaching them when to fall back? How about teaching them that not all guys were taught not to hit women? How about teaching them the fact that if they hit a guy, some guys will hit you back? I saw a woman beating on her man in a parking lot one day. She was hitting him in his face while yelling, "What are you gonna do, hit me back? Why don't you hit me back, so everyone can call you a punk! C'mon punk, I betcha you won't hit me back!". I told one of my female friends this story, and she responded with this: "If I was that dude, I would have kicked her ass!". Now, if a woman feels like that, how in the hell do you think a guy feels?

I think men and women need to share in the responsibility and work together on solving this issue. As longs as one side has a "victim for life card", and the other has a "guilty no matter what card", shit WILL NOT change. Instead of these spineless brown nosing radio host trying to score brownie points with their women audience, how about being real for a change? Steve Harvey likes to say that he's teaching women to think like men. If that's the case, you should also teach them that a man knows that if he hits someone or keep pushing a person to the limit, there will be reprisals. Bad advice will not solve this, nor will sucking up to your female audience. How can we fix this, if one side don't think that anything's broken?

Today I read a story about R&B singer Usher being disappointed about seeing pictures of singer Chris Brown riding on a jet ski. Really Usher? Disappointed are you? Ooh! He said that Chris Brown should be somewhere showing remorse. Showing remorse how? Should he be locked in a dark room crying somewhere, or should he be walking around town staring down at his shoes with puppy dog eyes? Sean Combs offered his Miami mansion to Brown and Rhianna, so that they can spend time together and escape the madness, but Usher feels that Brown should have taken that opportunity to show remorse.

Doesn't Usher have bigger fish to fry? Shouldn't he be concerned that his wife lied to him and tried to have ill advised liposuction surgery behind his back, and almost died? Surly, that's gotta be more important to him than Chris Brown riding a jet ski! Dude, worry about your own shit, and let Chris handle his. How about you get a handle on your wife? What she did affects you a helluva whole lot more than Chris Brown riding a jet ski. She almost made your ass a widower by ignoring doctor's orders and going to Brazil to have a life threatening surgery, after she lied to you and said that she was going "on vacation"! How about you be "disappointed" in that?

I remember not too long ago, single men were the envy of us married men. Not so today. Actually, we married men kinda feel sorry for single men. The games are pretty much the same, but the prices have gone up. Alot! And if you're a single "regular" guy, forget it! Nowadays, athletes and other celebrities are more accessible than they were when I was on the circuit, and you have guys going broke trying to keep up with them. Women claim that a man's position and wealth are unimportant, but and I both know that that's bullshit. If she's looking for a husband, maybe, but if she's just looking for a good time, then she ain't looking for you! Don't get me wrong, back in the 80's, we had our share of things to deal with as well. Particularly dope dealers with gobs of cash to throw around. How in the fuck is a poor shmuck working in the credit department of Rich's Dept. store supposed to compete with that?! The best I could offer at the time was a dance, a drink, my phone number, and a promise to call the next day. Not too enticing when compared to a pimped out Mercedes Benz, a gaudy necklace, a bucket of champagne, and a night at the Ritz Carlton. And oh, did I mention his wad of 20 dollar bills?

You can't really blame the women for going for the "BBD" (bigger better deal). Sadly, after a woman has sown her wild oats, she has to leave town to find a husband. She's not gonna find one among the regualer Joes she passed on. Afterall, we've witnessed her oat sewing. Hey, we guys are shallow, sue us! Anyway, back to the single guys. I hear all of my single friends complain about the offerings these days, and they are not enthused about their prospects of finding the "one". They claim that they aren't looking for "the one", but again, bullshit! Some have even said that they envy me! My wife and I have been together 18 years, and I wouldn't go back to being single save my life!

The club scene? Forgeddaboutit! I've gone to a few clubs, and I've got to tell you, that's one of the saddest fucking scenes I've witnessed. Guys walking around with a hint of desperation in their eyes, women engaging 2 or 3 guys at a time, making sure that they don't let "Mr. Right Now" get away, and the mind numbing crap that they dee jay is spinning. I've actually seen a guy buy a girl a drink, and while he was paying the bartender, she was actually heading to the dancefloor with ANOTHER dude! Drink buyer turned around, shook his head, and walked off. To funniest thing is watching a guy walking around wearing a nice new suit with a bottle of Moet and 2 glasses, looking for a woman to drink with. Apparently, rock bottom has a dress code!

I guess it's the basic rituals of young adulthood. Oh wait, did I say "young adulthood"? Hmm, then what about the 40 year old guy in baggy jeans? Oh shit, there's another, and another! Just when I thought things couldn't get any sadder, middle aged Fubu shows up. Middle aged Fubu was probably one of those 20 year old guys who said, "Fuck being married!", and now he's having to make a damned fool out of himself by trying to "dress young" to compete in today's club scene. But hey, atleast he's single!

Son, never, ever hit a woman. If you must, never hit the woman you live with.

Damn your pride! Take your pride to the pawn shop and see how much they give you for it.

All the slick shit you're doing ain't new. It's just new to you.

If you have to think about it for more than 4 seconds, chances are it's going to be a sloppy lie. Just tell the truth.

The only thing dumber than volunteering, is asking for volunteers.

If a man freely admits to doing something stupid, it means that he's done much worse.

When the wine goes in, the truth comes out.

He who turns and runs away, lives to fight another day. Those who don't, have the most wonderful funerals.

It is not the next man's job to keep your wife faithful.

Tell jokes in class, the class laughs with you, but you'll stay after school alone.

Those who support the military the most, have never been in the military.

If a woman tells you about her sexual partners, add 10. For a guy, subtract 10.

Never ask your woman how many men she's been with. No matter what the number is, it's too many for you.

Someone once said that the best things in life were free. I now realize that I was a fucking idiot for listening to that person.

Don't worry about when the world will end. When you die, it has ended for you.

Religion and logic does not mix! Trust me, I've got the assault charges to prove it!

A wise man once said, no wait, that was me!

Attention corporate America who sent our jobs overseas, you're not fooling anyone! The other day I got a call from a solicitor. It was a guy with a VERY heavy Eastern Indian accent that asked to speak to the man of the house. Lying, I said that he wasn't in and was there a message. He said, "Tell him Scott called." "Scott from where?", I asked. "Scott from Texas.", he replied. Oh jeez, seriously?! "Scott from Texas" with a VERY heavy Eastern Indian accent. God, I know people think that Americans are dense, but give us some credit!! "Scott from fucking Texas" was the best you could do?! Then he closed with "Have a blessed day"! And if that weren't enough, now, they're having Eastern Indians call, but an American phone number shows up on the caller ID. WE'RE NOT THAT STUPID!!!! We know that the jobs are still overseas, and we know that "Scott from Texas" is really Havishnu from India. You're not fooling anyone! Give it up! You got your fucking tax breaks, the least you could do is pretend that we still have a brain. Telling Patel to say that his name is Chad from Arizona is not going to make us think, "Oh wow, Capital One has moved their customer service back to America.". We know better, and so should you. They're not fooling me, are they fooling you?

Ladies, if a guy sends you a picture of himself posing next to his car, chances are you've pretty much seen ALL that he has to offer you.

Guys, if a girl sends you a picture of herself that she's taken with her camera phone from high above, trust me, you DO NOT want to see the rest of her!

Guys, if a girl sends you a picture of her with her hands on her hips taken from behind, she's "creating" a waistline for herself. You probably don't want to see the front.

If a personal ad says, "Color unimportant", she's looking for an old white sugar daddy.

If a personal ad says, "Discreet fun", she's a hooker.

If your cousin who moved to the city tells your family that she's a model, she's actually a stripper.

If your friend gets released from jail and he has a fresh set of braids, chances are, he's tried "new things" inside.

Ladies, apples come from apple seeds. What makes you think that good men come from bad boys?

Going to church does not make you a Christian. Standing in a garage does not make you a car.

Any guy that says that he's never run from anyone, is either lying or just hasn't had the right guy chase his ass yet.

The last place you was is better than the place you are now. The next place you go, will not be as good as the place you are now.

There's no such thing as a shortcut. If it was a better way to go, it would simply be known as the way, and not a shortcut.

If you have a gut feeling that your wife knows you're cheating on her, she does.

If a person tells you that they want total honesty, they don't. They just don't want you to lie as much as you normally do.

I was talking to a friend of mine, and she said that her brother in law is now strung out on crack after trying it last year. Really?! Who in the hell becomes a crackhead in 2008? This shit has been around since the 80's, and we've all seen what it does to people. How in the hell do you become a crackhead or addicted to heroin in this day and age? What kind of person sees a toothless emaciated person offering sexual favors to buy crack, and says to himself, "That's the life for me. That's a good look."? Un freaking believable! If you became a crackhead in the 80's, although stupid, it was kind of understood. Noone knew the power of that shit. But now? C'mon dawg! To become a crackhead now, after everything we've seen it do to people, who does that?

You know, everyone gives the credit to God and Jesus when they win, but none of the blame when they lose. After all, isn't it all God's will?

Just once, I'd like to hear a racecar driver say, "Yeah, I figured we had this one locked up, but then Jesus fell asleep at the wheel and allowed the #5 car to dip in under me on the last turn and win the race." Why not? You know #5's driver is giving Him credit for the victory.

Just once, I'd like to hear a football player say, "We were basically just trying to run out the clock, but then God caused us to fumble." Why not? You know the other team's giving Him credit for the win.

Just once, I'd like to hear a losing baseball pitcher say, "I was throwing him a low outside curveball, but Jesus had other ideas." Might as well. The batter is thanking Him as we speak.

Just once, I'd like to read this inside of a CD cover: "We thanked God on the last album and it flopped, so this time, we're just going to thank our fans."

Just once, I'd like to hear an actor say at the post Oscar Awards party, "Yeah, we felt that this was a great movie, but Jesus don't like great movies. That's why that Madea shit won." They should, being that Tyler Perry is giving props to Jesus for the win.

It'll never happen, but wouldn't you at least want to see it, just once?

These days there are literally 100's of Dodge Chargers, Magnums, and Chrysler 300's for sell here in Atlanta. You know, the "it" cars from a couple of years ago? Well, the thrill is gone, and there's a new "it" car now. Who in the hell secures a 5 year loan to get a popular car?! Hell, some people even got a 72 month loan! It ain't like buying a hot shirt or the latest fad in sneakers, it's a freaking automobile!! And now, people's cars are being repossessed, or they're selling them at a huge loss because they're "played out" now. "Played out"?! We're not talking about jeans, it's a damn car!

There's a cat in N.Y. who's selling his for that EXACT reason, "It's played out now. Too many people have one." Including you, shmuck! He still owes about 5000.00 more than it's worth. What they fail to realize is, the "hot car" game should only be played by those who can afford to play it. Snoop Dogg was given his Charger, while you, Joe Citizen, had to take out a loan. Not bad if you're getting a mode of transportation, but you did it to be part of the "in" crowd. Now you're stuck with it, while Snoop has moved on. Brilliant move, Einstein. I guess it seemed like a good idea at the time, huh?

Not long ago, I was on the discussion board, and someone started a thread about the newest flavor of Hennesy. That thread ended up being about 5 pages long, and most of the people that were responding to it positively were unemployed!!! There were a few threads that were giving advice on resumes', job hunting, and offering free computer programs to upgrade your skills, and those were no longer than 1 page long. It made me wonder: Where the hell are our priorities?! You'd think, that in this economy, people would be trying to get all the help they can find. Instead, they want a review of the latest offering from Hennesy. You're not working, but you're trying to figure out how to get the latest flavor in liquor, or how you're going to get to the club this weekend.

As the farmers used to say about the animals that weren't doing or looking too well, we've "drifted off our feed". Some women will not spend more an than hour filling out an application for a job, but will spent hours driving all over town looking for a babysitter for Saturday night, because Diddy's going to be having a party at Club Wasteoftime. Some guys refuse to find the time to continue their education to get a better job, but they will spend hours trying to come up with the perfect illegal hustle. I know guys that will jump at the chance to go on a road trip with their friends, but hadn't seen their kids in over a month. Radio stations are refusing to play Chris Brown's songs, but R. Kelly's are in heavy rotation. Again, where the hell are our priorities?!

It reminds me of T. I.'s character in the movie "American Gangster". He had a million dollar arm and a tryout with the New York Yankees, but he wanted to be like Uncle Frank instead. And true to form, none of the adults tried to convince him otherwise, because it was more important for him to go into the family's drug trade than it was for him to get to the Major Leagues. It's like that today. We place the most importance on the dumbest shit. I know a 3 year old child that knows the lyrics to the lastest rap song. Mama taught him, and boy is she proud! Ask him to recite the alphabet, and he can't get pass the letter "G". If you ask him what comes after G, he'll say, "Unit!". Way to go to mom, you taught him well. I guess "Doggy Dogg is a freak, freak, freeeaakkkk." has more street cred for a parent than "A, B, C, D, E, F,................."

"They don't write 'em like that anymore.
They just don't write 'em like that anymore." - Greg Kihn


I was listening to Steely Dan the other day, and it got me to thinking about today's songwriting. I've come to this conclusion: songwriters aren't even trying anymore. They're just mailing it in, and the sheeple are swallowing it hook, line, and sinker. Sure you have people like Anthony David, India.Arie, and John Mayer, but they are in the minority. Donald Fagen and Walter Becker (Steely Dan) were song craftsmen. They were 2 literary majors that could squeeze a complete story inside of a 4 minute song, and the great music was a bonus!

Songwriters today lack imagination. Think about it, Earth, Wind, & Fire's "Reasons" was about having a one night stand. Some of you who are reading this didn't even know that, did you? Brilliant, isn't it? Today, singers will literally say, "Hey, let me buy you a drink, and then let's go home and f*ck!", as opposed to "The scent of jasmine fills the air, and flowers are blooming." like A Taste of Honey proclaimed. See what I mean? Imagination. There are some songs that were out back then, that to this day, some still don't know what they were about. Take the O Jay's "Brandy", they were singing about a beloved dog! "Aqua Boogie" wasn't about dancing under water, it was about a black person's ability to juggle many situations. Again, imagination and thought!

Ask yourself this: Do you honestly think that an artist today could come up with an album like "Darkside of the Moon", "What's Going On?", "Houses of the Holy", or "Aja"? I think not. It's too much work for their limited imaginations. Many artists today just simply want to cut to the chase. Stevie Wonder wrote "Songs in the Key of Life". Each song on that album was a soundtrack to different points in a person's life. We'll never hear any shit like that again, but we will hear some shmuck saying that he wants to "make love in this club". Uh, okay. I'll put it to you this way, Limp Bizkit has deemed today's music so bad (oh, the irony!), they feel it necessary to reunite and tour again! Now look at what you've done!

You can call me old or whatever, but while I listen to my Prince, The Doobie Bros., Patsy Cline, Willie Nelson, De La Soul, and Brick cd's, I'll just simply sing along and say to myself, "They just don't write 'em like that anymore."

So, since we've "bailed out" the banks, they've done nothing for the consumers with that money, but they have given out over 18 dollars in bonuses this year. By now, you're probably thinking, "What the fuck?!", as we all are. How did the government respond? "Well in the next bailout, we're gonna make sure....", The NEXT bailout?! Are you fucking shitting me?! The banks have already told the government, and us, that what they did with OUR money is "none of our business", and now, they're getting another multi billion dollar check?! Ain't America grand?

This may be oversimplifying it, but how about this: What if the government had paid off the mortgages of the people that were in danger of losing their homes? That way, people would be able to stay in their homes and the banks would've gotten their money anyway. As it stands now, nothing has changed. The banks still want more of our money, which they WILL get, and people are still in danger of losing their homes, because the banks aren't modifying their mortgages like they promised. So, just what in the hell DID we accomplish? Don't worry, I'll wait.

Obama said that it's going to get worse before it gets better. Shit, it ain't gonna get better, until our government gets smarter and develop a fucking spine!

"Grown and sexy" - Enough already. I think it's just a ploy to get old folks back in the clubs and to con younger people into overpaying for shit. For real, let it go.

"Hatin" - This has lived long past its shelf life. Besides, the people who use the term don't even know what it means.

Auto Tune rappers - Singers who use it are annoying enough, but rappers?! C'mon dawg.

Ugly coats and jackets - You look like a bunch of fuckin' clowns!

E Beefs - Rappers used to battle face to face or on wax. Now they just make YouTube videos about each other. Y'all look like a bunch of bitches.

Snatching Yung Berg's chain - Okay, who here hasn't snatched Yung Berg's chain?

"No homo" - Do I even have to explain?

Souljah Boy hate - I am not a Nickelback or Radiohead fan, therefore; I spend 0% of my day discussing them. The people who despise Souljah Boy, spend every waking hour trying to let as many people know as possible that they wish he'd die. Let go, dawg. Let go.

People fighting on YouTube - We've seen it already. Post something new.

Rolling Stone magazine praising shit bands - Really? Do we really need to know about the latest garbage band that noone likes but you? Oh, they remind you of the Sex Pistols, do they? If I'm not mistaken, didn't the Sex Pistols suck also?!

I'm hearing the word "snitch" tossed around alot these days, and the truth is, noone knows what the hell they're talking about. Some don't know what it means, others say it, well, because they're sheep. Which leads me to beg the question: Does ANYONE know what a snitch REALLY is?!

T.I. got called a snitch, because, as part of his plea agreement, he agreed to do PSA's for Crimstoppers. The response from the hip hop community? "He's a snitch!", and you're an idiot! Furthermore; he was asking the public to report crimes against women and children, and y'all still called him a "snitch", so what does that make you? Then they say, "Lil Kim went to jail for not snitchin!" No, she went to jail for fucking perjury! The first thing a lawyer learns in the courtroom is never ask a question that you don't already know the answer to. Everything they ask you, they already know the answer, they just want to see if you're going to tell the truth. She lied. She lost. Now, Martha Stewart, she went to jail for not snitching. She illegally and knowingly received insider trading info, and refused to tell on the person that gave it to her. Ha! Martha keeps it realer than most of you wannabe thugs!

An undercover cop IS NOT a snitch. Sadly, there are those that think so. A witness to a crime, again, IS NOT a snitch! What's the diff? I'll tell you. If you and I do a crime together, and I get caught and tell on you, THAT'S snitching. End of story. Now go, my too big pants wearing warriors, and use this new found knowledge wisely!!

C'mon PETA, the attention whoring must stop! First, you wanted Michael Vick to do a PSA against dogfighting, which was cool, but now, you've decided that that wasn't good enough for you. Now you want him to undergo a brain scan and a full psychiatric evaluation?! Get the fuck outta here! You guys need to get over yourselves. You're no longer that important. People are now beginning to see you as the attention whores that you really are.

It was obvious that you went after Vick because he was more famous. Jonathan Babineaux, another Falcon player who is black by the way, killed his dog with a hammer, and yet, there wasn't a peep from you guys. Then there's the time you creeps showed up to picket the Kentucky Derby, which was attention whoring at its finest! The funny this is, the day before during the running of the Kentucky Oats race, a horse had broken its leg too, but alas, you guys weren't there. Hmmm, I wonder why. Was it because that horse wasn't as important? No. Maybe it was because the Kentucky Oats wasn't as famous as the Kentucky Derby, and therefore; there were no cameras there for you to ply your trade. You know, attention whoring.

And while we're at it, what's with the hypocrisy? Isn't one of PETA's presidents a diabetic that has to inject herself with insulin? I wonder where that insulin comes from. Oh yeah, that's right! The pancreases of pigs and cows! Don't they have to be killed to get that? If you were TRULY down for the cause, you'd refuse that insulin, wouldn't you? When questioned about it, she said that the animals were "sacrificing for the greater good". Yeah, hers!!!

Someone from the Humane Society told me, and I quote, "PETA didn't go after Jonathan Babineaux, because he wasn't big enough. Did you notice how they picketed the Kentucky Derby? Well, the day before in a minor race, the Kentucky Oats, another horse broke its leg, but you didn't hear from PETA, did you? They only picket where the cameras are. They do some good things, but basically, they're attention whores."

That about sums it up nicely, don't you think?

"Obama's the President, and black people are still doing....". Man, calm your ass down! What the hell were you expecting in 24 hours, the moon to turn green? Seriously, enough already! Dude has barely been in office a 24 hours, and you're already looking for drastic changes. If you was looking for some drastic shit to happen in 24 hours, maybe your ass should've voted for Jack Bauer! For real, stop with the nonsense. Instead of looking for President Obama (Damn, that sounds good, doesn't it?) to change things and do stuff for you, how about YOU change things and do stuff for yourself? Let the man do his thing first, then start pointing out stuff he hasn't done, but for now, shut the hell up!

Someone asked the question: "Obama's the President now. What has changed?". I'll tell you what hasn't changed, whining ass Negros with low expectations waiting for someone to take responsibility for their actions. People looking for someone else to correct their fuck ups. Here's my advice: Build a bridge, and get over it! It's been just over 24 hours since he's been sworn in. Give it time folks, give it time.