2009-05-20

ATTENTION RAPPERS!  

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Stop with this so called freestyle crap! Seriously, who gives a shit if you can go off the top of the dome? You sound like ass! How many of us have tuned in to a radio show, or clicked on an internet link to hear or see our favorite rapper, only to be let down? You know the scenario. First the beat kicks in and they start going, "Unh, yeah. Where (insert town here) at? Check it out.", and then proceed to sound like drunken babbling baboons. Afterwards, they'll go, "That was off the top!". No! Really?! And here I was thinking you was trying to sound like hot garbage on purpose, but as it turns out, you was just freestyling.

Charles Hamilton is the latest in a long line of delusional rappers. Dude fancies himself as a freestyle god. Everytime you see him, he's freestyling, and everytime you see him, he sounds like shit. He's not the only one. I heard Method Man, one of my favorite rappers ever, try to freestyle the other day. EPIC FAIL! How many times have you heard a rapper really feeling it, and then do something stupid like say the word "encyclopedia", and when he realizes that he has nothing that rhymes with it, he reverts back to, "Unh, yeah. Mic check.". "Mic check"?!! That's the same damn mic you've been using for the last 3 minutes, now quit stalling, and come up with something that rhymes with "encyclopedia"! Here's what I suggest; get a notebook and label it "Interveiw & Radio Show Raps", write some very clever and witty verses in it, and before every radio appearance, pick out which rap you're going to use, and use it! And don't you dare go on a promotional tour without that notebook! Please don't get salty with me, I'm just the messenger, but unless your name is Supernatural, you have no fucking business trying to freestyle! Better you hear it from me, than from Joe Buddens.

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