Rantings Of A Mad Rodent

Son, never, ever hit a woman. If you must, never hit the woman you live with.

Damn your pride! Take your pride to the pawn shop and see how much they give you for it.

All the slick shit you're doing ain't new. It's just new to you.

If you have to think about it for more than 4 seconds, chances are it's going to be a sloppy lie. Just tell the truth.

The only thing dumber than volunteering, is asking for volunteers.

If a man freely admits to doing something stupid, it means that he's done much worse.

When the wine goes in, the truth comes out.

He who turns and runs away, lives to fight another day. Those who don't, have the most wonderful funerals.

It is not the next man's job to keep your wife faithful.

Tell jokes in class, the class laughs with you, but you'll stay after school alone.

Those who support the military the most, have never been in the military.

If a woman tells you about her sexual partners, add 10. For a guy, subtract 10.

Never ask your woman how many men she's been with. No matter what the number is, it's too many for you.

Someone once said that the best things in life were free. I now realize that I was a fucking idiot for listening to that person.

Don't worry about when the world will end. When you die, it has ended for you.

Religion and logic does not mix! Trust me, I've got the assault charges to prove it!

A wise man once said, no wait, that was me!