Rantings Of A Mad Rodent

First of all, I hope everyone has a happy and prosperous 2010. Being that it is a new year, I've been thinking about making some changes. I'm sure you've seen every wannabe, hanger on, and Z list celebrity acknowledging me in their tweets, Facebook posts, and mixtapes. Yes, I am "hater". They seem to be obsessed with me, because they all give me shout outs, but I never acknowledge them. I was hoping that they'd have blown up, and become huge, thus making my "hating" productive, but sadly, such was not the case. I'm sure I'm not the only one that says to himself, "Who the hell are you?!", everytime someone says, "This goes out to all my haters!".

I've decided that I can't do the "hate" thing anymore. It's not personal, mind you. It's not you, it's me. Well, actually, it is you. You guys are no more famous than the guy that hands me my Chik Fil A chicken biscuit in the morning. You've only "made it" in your own minds, and I feel that I've wasted a whole year's worth of good, quality hate. It's not totally your fault, I'm partly to blame as well. I should've used my "hate" on people like Anthony David, India.Arie, or even Chris Bosh, but since they were already doing their thang, I decided to get in on the ground floor, and attach my "hate" to some unknowns. It seems like you benefited from this relationship more than I did. You got to shout me out every chance you got, and in return, all I got was, "Who?!", every time I mentioned you. So, I'm gonna move on. We could still be cool, and one day, hopefully you'll earn my "hate". Until then, could you please refrain from putting my name in your posts, tweets, and mixtapes until you've done something that won't make people say,"Who is this again?" ? Thank you, and buh bye.

You know, I'm always amused when I hear women say that they don't make men like their grandfathers and fathers anymore. They're quick to point out the decreased quality of today's men. So, you're telling me that over the last few decades, the overall quality of men have decreased, while the overall quality of women has increased? Riiiight. You can't possibly believe that. Do you know how your mothers and grandmothers got men like your fathers and grandfathers? Maybe your grandfather was a better breed of suitor, because he was courting a better breed of woman.

Think about it, women want a man to be the type of men that their grandfathers and fathers were, but they aren't willing to be the type of women that their grandmothers and mothers were. When my wife and I got together, we had nothing! All we had were our kids and each other. We built from the ground up. We had no car, dead end jobs, and my wife was working her way through college. I walked 2 1/2 miles to the nearest train station to catch the 5am train to get to work every morning. We used to have to take the bus to go grocery shopping, and we had to wear backpacks, so that we'd have somewhere to put the bags that we couldn't carry in our hands. We hung in there, and now our lives are significantly better. Again, she stayed while we built from the ground up! Find me atleast ONE woman that's willing to do that today? Don't worry, I'll wait. Most women today don't wanna build, they want what's been built! I told my 16 year old, that I felt sorry for him, and he asked why, and I said, "Because you'll NEVER find woman even half as good as your mother.".

When women learned the story of how President Obama courted Michelle, they started wondering if they were missing out on their Barack, and all I could do was laugh. I wanted to tell them that they weren't missing out on their Barack, because they weren't Michelles. Michelle stuck by a man with a law degree from Harvard, who chose to do community service. Today's women wouldn't have done that. They'd have gotten pissed that he wasn't pulling down figures at some law firm, nagged him endlessly, cheated on him, and ultimately left him. You know why? Because they don't make women like Michelle Obama or my wife anymore.

Now before you guys hit me with the "Not all women are like that!" emails, keep in mind that you women don't make those distinctions when talking about us men. I know all women aren't like that, I just wonder if you women know that all men aren't like that.

It doesn't matter what decade I write this in, it'll still be relevant. Now, more than ever, we've got white militia groups in the woods playing G.I. Joe with automatic weapons, and training. Training for what, you might ask. They're training to "take back their country", and in the process, kill blacks and Hispanics. What are the blacks and Hispanics doing? Why, they're killing each other! What the fuck sense does that make?! Then you have NorCal Hispanics killing SoCal Hispanics, black Bloods killing black Crips, northside blacks killing southside blacks, and so on. Talking about training for the bronze medal!

To be honest with with you, I don't even know why these ignorant baboons are even training. Hell, just sit back and let us finish killing each other, and when it's over, it'll just be black and Hispanic women and children left. The men will be dead, crippled, or in prison. It's amazing that we can stay so astoundingly stupid for so long! It seems like the only time we get impassioned about a cause, is what that cause calls for the destruction of each other. Blacks and Hispanics seem to be the only two groups of people willing to put themselves at a huge disadvantage in these critical times. We might as well put real bullets in the starter's pistol, and turn it on ourselves. Oh well, enjoy your bronze medals, you fucking losers!

My fellow Americans, I'm going to tell you something that you'll probably disagree with. We like to think that, since we put politicians in office, they work for us. THEY DON'T! Sorry, but they neither work for, nor represent us. I always hear people say, "They work for us! They should be doing our will.", wake up, Goldie Locks. Politicians work for big business and unions, plain and simple. Your vote is merely a ride to work for them. Basically, we're the bus drivers that take them to work. If you think I'm lying, think about this; if you email your congressman, you'll get a canned email response. If a lobbyist emailed your congressman, he'd get a return phone call....immediately! Is that anyway to treat your boss? Yes, your boss should get a phone call.

The last energy bill included input from the big oil and energy companies. How much of your input was included, boss? When we "employers" started losing our homes at record rates, who did they give the money to? When we "supervisors" objected to bailing out AIG, what happened? When we "bosses" found that we could go to Canada and get medicine for a whole lot cheaper than we could here, the big pharmaceutical companies didn't like that. What did our "employees", the lawmakers, do? They made it illegal. Now, they're trying to come to a consensus on this new health care bill, and who's pulling the strings? The insurance companies and the AMA. Where's your string to pull, Mr. Dithers? You can threaten to fire them, but in reality, your threats ring hollow. You know why? Because they know that they don't work for you!! Only we voters think that bullshit.

In theory, they're supposed to work for us. We send them to Washington to make things right for us, but somewhere along the line a coup was staged, and the unions and big corporations supplanted us as bosses. Yeah, they'll do the song and dance every election cycle, but instead of listening to the words of the song, pay attention to who the song is dedicated to. It ain't us! If you want to keep spouting that the politicians work for you, fine, have at it. Maybe it makes you feel good to say that, and that's fine too, but when you start to actually believe that, that's when the wheels start to come off. To be honest, the quicker you realize that politicians don't work for you, the better off you'll be come November 5th. That way, the vote you cast on the 4th won't hurt as bad. Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to turn to C-SPAN and check on my employees.

The people who "don't watch BET", can tell you the most about their shows.

The people who don't want their tax dollars to "pay for someone else's health care", had no problem with the corporate bailouts.

The people who criticized Al Sharpton and called him a "hater" for not being an early endorser of Obama, are now criticizing Obama.

There's been a shortage of funny white comedians lately. God, I miss Mitch Hedburg and Richard Jeni! Thank God, for Ron White!

The black people who "saw Bill Clinton's true colors" during the 2008 primary, quickly lost sight of them when he joined their fraternity.

The people who want to see a Jackson family tour and buy dvd's of Michael Jackson's rehearsal footage, are the same people that are saying, "Joe's trying to make money off of Michael!".

The women who said that Steve McNair deserved to be killed for cheating on his wife, are the same ones that said Rhianna should not have been harmed, regardless of what she did.

The people who said, "Obama is going to be the President of America, not Black America!", now want him to speak on reparations.

The businesses that are saying that their companies can't afford to pay its workers $7.25/hr, said that same thing about $6.55/hr.

If you talked about Farrah Fawcett's bad parenting, or Ronald Reagan's crooked deeds, it's disrespectful. Talk about Michael Jackson's legal troubles, it's "part of the story".

Well, it seems for most of us, the honeymoon's over. The post Obama election bliss is starting to wane. For the clear thinking, we knew it would end. For the emotionally involved, not so much. They're still holding out hope for the "change" we've heard so much about. Make no mistake, we were all sucked in, sadly, not all of us are able to become "unsucked", so to speak. Once we became "unsucked", we began to ask questions. We saw that Israel got their yearly $12 billion stocking stuffer, and the corporate pimps got their usual payments from their government bitches working the corners, and now we're (the American people AND the black community) are asking, "Where's ours?".

Well, where is it?! Once again, my fellow suckers, we'll be stuck in that pumpkin patch with Linus awaiting the Great Pumpkin, and he ain't coming! When Obama was campaigning, he looked right into our collective eyes, and promised a solid plan to save the homes of those that were on the verge of losing them, and what did we get? Let's see, the banks got billions upon billions of dollars to lend, the executives got 5 & 6 figure bonuses and 2 spa retreats, and those people on the verge of losing their homes got a 30 extension, which ended in February.

Basically, we went to the polls in November, scratched a lottery ticket, and saw "Not a winner this time. Please play again.". So, you're telling me that it never occurred to them to just pay off the homes? Doing that would have accomplished what they claimed they were setting out to do. Helping the banks to get rid of inventory and becoming more solvent to have more cash to lend, and saving the homes of the people. Assuming that is, those were really their intentions. I suspect that it wasn't. Hell, to sell their case, we were promised a website that we can log onto to monitor where our money was going. Hmm, it's www., uh, oh yeah, that's right! THERE IS NO WEBSITE FOR US TO LOG ONTO TO MONITOR WHERE OUR MONEY IS BEING SPENT!!!!

Then you have us in the black community that are asking, "Okay, what are gonna do for us?". "Surely, if you can give Israel their usual $12 billion payoff and billions for the corporations, for who knows what, there's gotta be something in that bag for us!". So far, nada. Of course we know that Obama's the President for all of America, and not just Black America, but somehow, when he's doling out loot to other people, noone seems to bring that up. Noone ever says, "He's the President of America, not corporate/Jewish America!". Funny that. I keep bringing up Israel, because after he was sworn in, there were alot of Jews asking, "What's he gonna for Israel?", not only were the Jews asking that, but so were alot of the talking heads on these so called news programs. "What's he gonna do for Israel?"?! Uh, he's not the President of Israel, why should he have to do anything, but I digress.

Anyway, people are thinking that, just because he appointed blacks to high profile positions (Atty. Gen., Surgeon Gen., Head of NASA), that that should somehow pacify us. It doesn't. Obama says that we blacks are going to have start doing for ourselves, and I agree. But if that's the case, why are we still sending $12 billion to Israel, and bailing out corporations? Are they not in a position to "do for themselves", like he thinks that we are? Shit, 134 billion of AIG's money went to Goldman Sachs, because they owed Goldman Sachs money! Why wasn't AIG told to "do for self"? Where's the consistency?

I'm not anti Obama. In fact, I'm far from it. But there comes a time when you have to stop being proud, and start being observant. Most of us refuse to do that. Sadly, to most of my people, looking at Obama with a critical eye, is akin to slapping white Jesus across the forehead with a 2x4. And to all of the people criticizing Obama and calling him a liar for not asking about reparations, get over yourselves! He never said that he would. In fact, he said that he was against it. It seem like some of you are trying to get him to deliver on promises he never made. It's cool to be critical, without being stupid about it.

Seeing my fellow black folks attacking us for asking questions about Obama, reminds me of those buffoons that follow that junkie Rush Limbaugh. The same people upset with me questioning Obama, are the same people that were criticizing Bush's followers for being blind loyalists. Here's my advice to y'all: Go to the window and take in the view of the beach one last time. Tomorrow, you'll be on a plane heading back home. The honeymoon's over!

Over the last 20 something years, I've heard many of my sisters claim, "Black men are intimidated by an independent black woman!". Wrong!!! And then there's the comical, "I don't need no man for nothing! I can do it all by myself!". Years later, that's exactly what you end up doing, "it" by yourselves! Somehow, you guys have confused "independent" with "bitter". My wife holds it down! She's got 2 degrees, a great job, and she's one helluva mother and wife. Could she get it done by herself if she had to? Of course. Does that "intimidate" me? Not at all. In fact, it doesn't intimidate any of us. Those are the types of women we look for. My wife, and women like her, don't feel the need to tell people how together they are every chance they get. You know, the real independent women. If you are truly "independent", you wouldn't have to shout it every time you go out in public. It sounds like you're trying to convince yourselves, not us.

To the sisters that love to proclaim that they are intimidating to us men, I'll let you in on a little secret, WE DON'T WANT YOU!!! You see, the majority of the women that yell that crap, are the ones with either baby daddy issues, can't compete with the real women, or just can't find a good man, due to them being bitter. Being bitter and having an airplane full of emotional baggage, does not make you "strong and independent", it makes you a bitter woman with emotional baggage. Instead of looking for a mate, maybe y'all should be trying to find a bellhop! It's not that we are intimidated by you, we just don't wanna hear that garbage. It's not that you can't find a "good man", you can't find a "good man" that can tolerate your bitterness. I also find it funny, that after 3 kids by 3 different men, all of a sudden "you don't need no man". Guess what, sweetie? Finding a man should be the least of your troubles.

Now, to all of you truly independent and strong women, I think some of you are reading us all wrong. Enough of this, "Today's men are weak, and put off by my success." garbage. Stop blowing smoke up your own asses. You don't scare anyone with your success. In fact, you become more appealing. You know that cute guy at Happy Hour that didn't talk to you? Here's probably why: When we're working our way through school, or trying to make our way in this world, we realistically know that types of women that we can get. Well, atleast some of us do. Anyway, when we see a beautiful sister who's a partner in a law firm, or any woman earning close to six figures and above, we know that we have nothing to offer her at that time. We know that we have to have our shit together before we even think about stepping to you, and as long as we realize that we're a work in progress, what's the point in wasting your time and ours? Besides, most of you don't want a work in progress, you want a man that has something to bring to the table now. Why do you think we've been seeing all of these "Women: Are We Sleeping on Our Own Obama?" blog posts lately? We nay not be in a position to bring anything to the table at that time. You guys are so caught in your self worship, that you don't see that. It's not "intimidation", it's being realistic on our part.

We applaud you women for being beautiful, strong, and successful. Trust me, I'm a guy and it's all we talk about when describing our dream wife. As long as you continue to perceive us as being intimidated by your success, you'll continue to have this same tired ass discussion with your girlfriends while snarfing down 10 cent buffalo wings and margarita specials at Happy Hour. Even that thought is more intimidating that you think you are.