2010-11-02

DEMOCRATS, YOU'RE ON THE CLOCK  

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I just got back from voting, and today's vote was very special to me. I voted my conscience, and mostly Democrat. As of today, THAT STOPS! No longer will I feel duty bound to vote for you. I don't think any of us should. Any time I ask about your accomplishments, your answer is always something you've done 20+ years ago. What in the hell have you done for us lately?! I'm an older guy now, but I'm doing this for the younger generation. No longer will, "They're better than the Republicans." or "People died for you to have the right." suffice. These kids need results, not more chastising and promises! Yeah, people died for us to have the right to vote, but they didn't die and get arrested and beaten for us to be beholden to the Democratic party. Pardon my language, but kiss my ass with that!

Starting today, you Democrats are going to have to work long and hard for my vote. And God willing, I will do everything in my power to make others feel this way. You guys basically pissed away 40 years of credit and trust from the younger generation and the black community. It is now time to put some money on your debit cards. We are tapped out. My main message to the young people is this: Vote for who think will look out for your interests best, not who your parents and preachers think you should vote for. It's time to get rid of the sharecropper's mentality. We don't owe the Democrats a damn thing, and it's time that you young people and we black people became truly independent. If a Libertarian does it for you, then vote for him, and the same goes for any other party candidate, but as for the Democrats, we don't owe you, you owe us. No longer will treat young people and those in the black community like a 2 a.m. booty call. Only calling us when you want or need nothing. You've been warned.

2010-10-27

THE NOVEMBER 2ND BOOTY CALL  

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Well, you can tell by the ringing of the phones in the black community that the Democrats are horny, and they're making their booty calls. And as usual, we'll show up with our mouths shut and our legs open. What the hell is this power that they hold over us that causes us to vote for them out of a sense of duty, even though they don't do a God damned thing for us? Every time there's an election, we're the first ones they call. The black community: The first to beg from and the last to do for.

We've never truly demanded that they earn our vote, and at this point, it's too late to make demands. We've proven that we're not a viable threat to their comfort level. In effect, we've painted ourselves into a corner. What do we do? There are 3 sides. On one side, you have the Teabaggers/GOP who'd rather take this country back to the "good ol' days", and we know how good those days were for us. Hell, one Teabagger wants to make abortion illegal even if a girl is raped by her father! Then we have the Democrats, who see us as "Old Reliable". We ain't going nowhere. We're too stupid to go anywhere. And lastly, we have the pressure to vote from those in our own community.

To those in our community that like to beat our young people over the head with the "people died so you can vote!" argument, that shit's getting tired......FAST! That business model has run its course. Our young people want to see results! They want tangible results that will make them go back to the polls. What are tangible results? Figure it out! The right doesn't seem to have a problem producing them, why the fuck can't you?! Bottom line is this: if you want to keep the young people interested, you'd better show them that you're interested in them and they're issues. Especially the young black people. Keep in mind, this is not to say that he's nothing for the black community, but you can't be mad if people want to see MORE.

Getting back to the Democrats, why should we be bound to vote for them? Really. Now you have Democrats distancing themselves from this President, just so they can keep their jobs. Thus proving once again, that the Democrats would rather live on their knees than die on their feet. This is the party we're riding with?! These are the guys that are gonna make it right?! And as for Obama, when he got in office, everyone said, "He's going to be the President of America, not just Black America!", and the day after he was sworn in, everyone was there with their fucking hands out, and Obama obliged. Especially the gays and the Jews, while we were told to sit tight, or do for ourselves, or "Stop waiting on Obama to do for you!". Shit, it ain't our turn to be done for, but it's our turn to do for....them! I don't care how or if you vote. The bottom line is this: unless you have "INC." at the end of your name, it ain't gonna matter anyhow. You can rationalize it with "Yeah, they don't do nothing for us, but they're better than the Republicans." Are they? Really? I love to hear black people who are vote strictly Democrat ask an abused woman, "How can you stay with a guy that beats you?!", and I'm thinking, "Shit, you tell me!".

Tell you what my fellow black people, you keep on answering those booty calls. But remember this: while the Democrats are willing to come over and blow our backs out every other November, they'll never truly love us. Now, if you'll excuse me, I've gotta look for those sexy drawers they like. Afterall, the 2nd is almost here, and I wanna look good for that jackass. Oh, and I hope you have your KY Jelly.

2010-09-27

EDDIE LONG BRINGS MORE THAN JUST HIS SECRETS TO LIGHT.  

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Well, isn't it fascinating what comes out when a popular preacher gets caught with his hands in the booty, um...I meant cookie jar? Not only are we hearing about Mr. Long's proclivities, but we're also seeing his followers come out fighting a like a mama raccoon cut off from her babies. This is what happens when you worship the man talking about God, and not the God that man is talking about. Keep in mind, this is a man that made part of his name off rallying against and condemning gays to hell. Heck, he even held a march against gays, and now he's been accused of doing the very thing that he hates. Isn't that always the case?

His followers are telling us not be as quick to judge him, as they were at judging those gay people that they marched against. Ah, church people, those walking contradictions. They say that the Bible says "An eye for an eye." when something is done to them, but they want their victims to "turn the other cheek.". They're quick to judge those who don't attend their church, but when they or their pastor gets caught up, then it's "Judge ye not." or "He who is without sin...". When people say, "That's why I don't go to church.", y'all try to school them on going for the message and not the man, but won't admit that you drive an hour out of your way to go to that church because of the man, just so you can say, "I go to so and so's church.". I don't know how it is in other cities, but people in Atlanta treat their churches like designer labels.

Here's one of the things that separate us critics from the sheep. We realize that there's a possibility that these charges could be a pack of lies. They aren't ready to deal with the possibility that these charges could very well be true. When I saw him address his flock, and he mentioned that he wasn't "a perfect man" 3 times, I heard, "Okay y'all, some stuff is going to come out. I didn't do what they're saying I did, but I did do something.". I don't think that they are mentally prepared to deal with that something, whatever it may be. Also, far be it from me to tell you how to defend your bishop, but "Those boys were of legal age!" IS NOT the route I'd go.

I do have to wonder though, if these charges were brought against Glenn Beck or one of those idiots, would people like Warren Ballentine and Steve Harvey be willing to wait until "all of the facts are out"? Just like in the R. Kelly case, people are blaming the plaintiffs and not the predator. Also, calling an anti gay preacher out on his alleged hypocrisy and homosexual proclivities, IS NOT an "attack on religion and the body of Christ". Spare me the hyperbole. The surfacing of allegations not only forced us to ask questions of Eddie Long, but some of us in the black community need to also ask questions of ourselves.

2010-06-07

"I WANNA BE THE NEXT VICTOR WOOTEN!"  

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I was in Guitar Center one day to mess around with a few bass guitars. I grabbed this Ibanez ATK, and started to play some of my favorite riffs. I played a few riffs by Victor Wooten (well, the ones I could actually play!) and the Woody Woodpecker riff by Les Claypool. It was then that this young bass player approached me, and told me that that was the kind of bass player he wanted to be when he finally joins a band: flashy. Ah, youth!

I showed him how to play a few riffs, and then I asked him to do me a favor. I asked him to go see some live bands that weekend, and get back in touch with me. He called me Tuesday to tell me that he saw 3 really good bands. The music was good and they all had great bass players. Then I asked him how many flashy Vic Wooten/Les Claypool licks did he hear. After about 4 seconds of silence, he said that he'd heard none. "That's the point.", I told him.

Yeah, Vic Wooten has mind blowing licks, but he can also sit in on a jazz jam session. Les Claypool has an array of tricks, but he also has the groove and pocket to sit in on an Allman Brothers tribute album. You know why they have that ability? Because it's about the groove and the song, not their tricks! Just concentrating on being strictly a flashy player, is like having all frosting and no cake. People will look at it, but nobody's gonna buy it. Yeah, other bass players will be floored by your flashy riffs and talk about you to other bass players, but they'll never recommend you for a gig. Trust me on this.

Learning this great instrument of ours take lots of time and hard work. Do you place so little value on your time and hard work, that you would spend it trying to be someone else, instead of a better you? Really? Taking up the bass is a noble and proud thing to do, but remember; we are the foundation on which the house is built. Here's something else to think about: when Flea sits down to practice, he's not trying to be the next so and so, he's trying to become a better him. As for that young bass player? He told me that he landed a blues/rock gig. I guess he realized that having a solid pocket was an even better trick, and the groove became more important to him.

2010-06-02

WE AIN'T FROM THERE!  

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Question: Why is it that when we black folks decide to recognize our African roots, we use Egyptian symbols? People are walking around with ankh tattoos, pyramid charms, and one guy even calls himself "Kemet". Well, guess what? WE AIN'T FROM THERE! I understand that we didn't learn anything about the west coast of Africa (where most slaves were from) in school, but we just can't latch on to ancient Egyptian symbols, just because it convenient and popular. Truth be told, we look like damned fools. Hell, some Egyptians don't even consider themselves African. They prefer to be called Middle Eastern. Before you go marking up your bodies and buying jewelry, how about really learning something about yourselves?

West Africa supplied the majority of the slaves that went to work in the Caribbean and America. The strip of land in West Africa that used to be called the Gold coast and the Grain Coast is the location for modern African countries such as Ghana, Togo and Benin. Other countries that supplied slaves were Senegal, Guinea, Sierra Leone, Liberia, Nigeria and Angola. Notice that I didn't mention Egypt. Some guys like to claim that they're Mandingo or Ashanti. Chances are, you ain't one of those either. Slave traders steered clear of both tribes, because the Mandingoes from Senegal were clever and able to steal the master’s goods. They also said that the Ashanti from the Gold Coast were good workers but likely to stir up rebellion. So, guess who they brought over? You.

If you want to reclaim and be proud of your African heritage, learn more about West Africa. Many slaves came out of such Sierra Leone tribes as the Limba Timine, Bulom, Loko, Kono, Sherbro, and Mende. Those from Liberia included the Gbande, Manon, Kpelle, Gyo, Gola, Vai, Ge, De, Basa, Kru, and Grebo. Stop trying to make yourselves look hip and enlightened by displaying Egyptian symbolism. You look like an idiot. You know why? Because we ain't from there!

THE CONFUSED AND FICKLE BLACK MOVIE GOER  

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"Many intelligent black men seem,
To look uncivilized when on the screen.
Like I guess I figure you,
To be some jiggaboo,
On the plantation. What else can a nigga do?"


That was my favorite line by Big Daddy Kane from Ice Cube's "Burn Hollywood, Burn". You know, back in the 70's, 80's, and 90's, black movie fans decried the negative roles being offered to black actors in Hollywood. If a black actor was in a film, and if they didn't have a white love interest, you know that they were going to be playing the part of a criminal, junkie, or buffoon.

We were so pissed off, that we screamed, "Fuck Hollywood!", "We need our own studios!", and "The Jews are running Hollywood, and making us look bad! We need to make our own movies!". Well, let's talk about that. We did make our own movies, and what were they about? Gangstas, drug dealers, and rappers participating in some type of baboonery. Maybe we didn't like the Jews making us look bad, but we didn't care if we made ourselves look bad, because we LOVED those movies. Well, some of us didn't. We had a few directors like John Singleton and Spike Lee that made positive movies, but for the most part, it was the same old same old. Enter Tyler Perry.

Now I'll admit, I'm not the biggest Tyler Perry fan, but I totally respect what he's trying to do. This man came in and made movies that try to show us in a positive light, and all he got in return and arrows hurled in his direction. Some were even shot by other black directors. They called him a "coon", not realizing that this "coon" employs more black people in Hollywood than anyone else. Especially the other black directors that attacked him. Yeah, I'll admit his movies can be somewhat corny, but at least he ain't portraying us as pimps, ho's, and drug dealers. Plus, he's a good business man: he gives his audience what they want! I heard on guy criticize Perry's movies, and then said, "What happened to the good movies like New Jack City, Juice, and Sugar Hill?". Really, dawg? Give me a break!

I recently read a black critic's review of "Just Wright", starring Queen Latifah and Common, and he slammed it. He called it a "corny love story". He also complained that it had no profanity in it. Really, black movie goers, what in the hell do you want? You don't want us being portrayed as buffoons and criminals, and all of the positive roles being offered by black directors, you think are corny. You can't have it both ways.

2010-05-30

DRILL BABY, DRILL!  

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"Drill baby, drill!", you remember that? C'mon, yes you do! It was the rallying cry of the right, lead by that beacon of brilliance, Sarah Palin. Funny, but I can't seem to find any of these people now. It seems like they've wiped their fingerprints off the megaphones, and hid them away. Now these same "Drill baby, drill!" people are crying out in anger over what has happened in Louisiana. The same people who supported the Bush administration (who loosened up the regulations and safety requirements that led to this disaster), big oil companies like BP (whose rig it was), and Halliburton (who was operating the rig at the time of the disaster. Funny that they're always involved, huh?) have now found a way, with the help of the media, to conveniently lay this at the feet of the Obama administration.

At what point are you people willing to look past money and ideology, and do the right thing for once in your miserable lives?! Seriously, there is no other Earth out there people! It ain't like we can screw this one up, and go invade another one like we've done to so many countries. No assholes, this is the only world we have, and it seems as though you morons chose money and party rhetoric over it. When Obama wasn't 100% sure about more drilling, you said that he didn't care about America, and now that he isn't moving fast enough for your tastes, this has somehow become his "Katrina". Really? You same people that cried for corporate freedom and for the government to stay out of corporate affairs, now want the government to clean up BP's mess with taxpayer money. Those same taxpayers that BP gouged to make record breaking quarterly profits just a few years ago.

Now, it's going to be different. See, with Katrina, you people were able to look at the bodies floating in New Orleans, act outraged and turn off the TV and get on with your lives. Not this time, cupcake. No, this time we're all going to be affected. Maybe this time you'll pay attention, but early indications don't look promising. You people are still trying to play party politics, even in the face of our self inflicted doom. We continue to treat Mother Earth like a battered wife, and just like a battered wife, there's going to come a time where she can't take it anymore. Once that happens, your profits, and your political party will not be able to save you, and all that rhetoric, won't mean shit. If it were up to me, I'd fine BP $50 million per day. I bet they'd find a way to stop the leak then. Some people say that that amount would be too much, to them I say BP should look into all of their bank accounts and stock holdings, and "Drill baby, drill!" to come up with the money.